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One day a man walked into the main library of a major research university. He stopped at the reference desk and asked the librarian if she had any current books about economics and the economy.
She answered that she did, and led the man to the reference shelves where the economics and economy books were.

To the surprise of both the librarian and the man all of the books were off the shelf being used.

“That’s OK,” the man said. “I’ll just go to another library. You see, I’m a very busy man, and I set this weekend aside for studying economics and the economy.”

The librarian said she understood and gave the man directions to the nearest research library. But her interest piqued, she asked: “Why are you so urgent to study economics and the economy?”

The man replied: “I’m an economist. I’ve been teaching at this university for the past ten years. I’m attending a business meeting on Monday, and I figure the economy has changed in the past ten years.”

Tax his cow, Tax his goat;
Tax his pants, Tax his coat;
Tax his crop, Tax his work;
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt;

Tax his chew, Tax his smoke (now ain’t that the truth);
Teach him taxing is no joke.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule;
Tell him, Taxing is the rule.

Tax his oil, Tax his gas (again ain’t that the truth)
Tax his notes, Tax his cash (oh boy a pattern emerges);
Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, Tax him more;
Tax him till he’s good and sore.
Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax his sod in which he’s laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove him to his doom.”
After he’s gone, we won’t relax,
We’ll still collect inheritance tax.


An architect, a surgeon, and an economist were engaged in a discussion. The surgeon said, “Look, we’re the most important. God is a surgeon because the very first thing God did was extract Eve from Adam’s rib.” The architect said, “No, wait a minute, God is an architect. God made the world in seven days out of chaos.” The economist smiled, saying “And who made the chaos?”

The definition of “waste”: a busload of economists plunging over a precipice with three of the seats unoccupied.

ABC Stock reaches $155. $155 for a stock that should be valued at $100. Wow!!!!
That’s it I say to myself. It’s time I make that decision that all longs consider at one time or another. I am going to short my first stock. I am thinking to myself “This stock is overvalued. It can’t sustain these levels. This is money in the bank. Guaranteed baby!!”
I phone my broker.
“How can I help you Mr.Junkie.”
“I want to place a trade. I want to short 1000 share of ABC.” After a few seconds he says,
“I am sorry Mr.Junkie. I can’t process that for you. Your account is a cash account. You need a margin account to short a stock. I can send you the application or you could go to your nearest financial institution to fill out the forms.”
I head out the door the minute I get off the phone because time was a wasting and as they say time is money. I run into the financial institution fill out the form and have a taxi deliver it directly to my broker. Next morning I call the broker.
” Hello it’s Mr.Junkie did you get the application”
“Yes We did.”
“Great I would like to short ABC then.”
“One minute please. I am sorry Mr.Junkie but you now need a shorters account.”
“What! You mean the margin account isn’t enough?
“No you also need a shorters account. Nearest financial institution has the forms”
Off I go again. I complete the form and have it sent by courier to the broker.
Next day I call again.
“Hello Mr.Junkie”
“Please I want to short 1000 shares of abc”
“One moment please.” Voice returns within a few seconds. “Sorry Mr.Junkie you don’t have enough funds. To short a stock you need 150% the equity value of the stock you are shorting.”
“Transfer the funds from my bank account.” I demand.
“Will do Mr.Junkie but it will take 2 days for it to be in your account” he replies
two days later I call.
“It’s Mr.Junkie did you get the funds transfer.”
“Yes Mr.Junkie we did”
“Great I want to short 1000 shares of abc at $155″
Few moments later “Mr. Junkie I am sorry but I don’t think that is possible”
“Why not. Now what’s the problem?”
“We’ll the last trade went through at $101.”

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