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Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an economist?
A: An offer you can’t understand.

An IRS official has come to a rural synagogue for an inspection. The rabbi is accompanying him.

“So rabbi, tell me, please, after you have distributed all your unleavened bread, what do you do with the crumbs?”

“Why, we gather them carefully and send them to the city and then they make bread of them again and send it to us.”

“Ah. So what about candles after they are burnt? What do you do with the ends?”

“We send them to the city as well, and they make new candles from them and send them to us.”

“And what about circumcision? What do you do with those leftover pieces?”

The rabbi, wearily, replies, “We send them to the city as well.”

“To the city!? And what do they send to you?”

“Today they have sent you to us.”


A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.

“Excuse me,” he said. “Have you lost something?”

“No,” replied one of the doctors. “We’re doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone.”


Q: How many environmental economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Eight – one to turn the lightbulb and seven to do the environmental impact study.

“I hear that you drop some money in Wall Street. Were you a bull or a bear?”
“Neither, just a plain simple ass.”

© 2015