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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A young stockbroker decided to take a day off and visit some of his professors in his old school. When he made his way into the entrance he noticed a dog was attacking a small child. He quickly grabbed the dog and throttled it with his two hands.
The next day the local newspaper reported the story with the headline, “Valiant student saves boy from ferocious dog”.
The stockbroker called the editor and strongly suggested that a correction be issued and that the paper will tell the readers he was a successful Wall Street broker and not a student.
The next day the newspaper issued a correction and the headline read, “Pompous stockbroker kills school mascot”.

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 and Psalms 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150.00.

Sincerely,
Taxpayer

P. S. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.

@IRS

Q: Why did the Accountant cross the road?
A: To bore the people on the other side!

Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.



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