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A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he’s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise.

“The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: ‘Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!’

“Wait a minute!” says the man taking the tour. “I understand what the ‘hiss, hiss,’ is, but what’s that ‘pop!’ every so often?”

“Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,” says the guide. “It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.”

“Well, that can’t be good for the condoms!”

“Yeah, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business!”

This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. After a week he is employee of the week…after a month he knows his job so well that he becomes employee of the month. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award.

One day in his 3rd year, he comes home looking all depressed. His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got fired.

“FIRED! How can you get fired, you’re always employee of the week, month and year.”

To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to fulfill and it got him fired. “Oh no, not again! What did you do this time?” she asks.

“Well, I always fantasized about sticking my willy in the pickle slicer.”

“You didn’t!?” she asks.

“Well, yes I did.”

Then she asks, “Did it hurt?”

“No not really.”

Puzzled she then asks, “Well what happened to the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, she got fired too!” he said.

This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. After a week he is employee of the week…after a month he knows his job so well that he becomes employee of the month. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award.

One day in his 3rd year, he comes home looking all depressed. His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got fired.

“FIRED! How can you get fired, you’re always employee of the week, month and year.”

To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to fulfill and it got him fired. “Oh no, not again! What did you do this time?” she asks.

“Well, I always fantasized about sticking my willy in the pickle slicer.”

“You didn’t!?” she asks.

“Well, yes I did.”

Then she asks, “Did it hurt?”

“No not really.”

Puzzled she then asks, “Well what happened to the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, she got fired too!” he said.

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made “Tickle Me Elmo dolls.” It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.

On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn’t keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.

The boss could not control his laughter and said, “Lady, I said to give each doll Two—-Test—-Tickles.”

This couple comes to a new town and the guy gets a job at the local pickle factory. After a week he is employee of the week…after a month he knows his job so well that he becomes employee of the month. A few years go by and each year he wins the employee of the year award.

One day in his 3rd year, he comes home looking all depressed. His wife asks him what the matter is, to which he responds that he got fired.

“FIRED! How can you get fired, you’re always employee of the week, month and year.”

To this he responds that he had another fantasy that he needed to fulfill and it got him fired. “Oh no, not again! What did you do this time?” she asks.

“Well, I always fantasized about sticking my willy in the pickle slicer.”

“You didn’t!?” she asks.

“Well, yes I did.”

Then she asks, “Did it hurt?”

“No not really.”

Puzzled she then asks, “Well what happened to the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, she got fired too!” he said.

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