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An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”
The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!”
The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, “Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down nails away, that his friend came over.
“Eh, what you doing? How come you’re throwing away all those nails?” he asked.
“Because they’re upside down,” the friend replied.
The other guy looks at the friend, then, after some thought, says, “You Idiot, save them for the ceiling!”

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. Your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a lot of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. You have no job satisfaction.

9. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

10. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

11. People ask you, “What do you do?” and you can’t explain it.

12. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you’re left hanging with only other “professionals.”

13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.

16. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it’s not your problem.

17. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).

18. You are rated on your “performance” in an excruciating ordeal.

19. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it’s the client who walks away smiling.

20. The client always thinks your “cut” of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.

21. When you deduct your “take” from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.

22. Everyday you wake up and tell yourself, “I’m not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life.”

23. Your client and pimp seem more concerned about how you look than what you know.

24. Your pimp doesn’t care what you have to do to please the client.

25. Your pimp can’t perform your job.

26. You’re required to play roles for money.

27. Your customer doesn’t always want others to know everything they request.

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said.

So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eyes (meaning “I”) then pointed at his knees (meaning “need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, “You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw.”

The other guy replied, “I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming.”

So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many upside down nails away, that his friend came over.
“Eh, what you doing? How come you’re throwing away all those nails?” he asked.
“Because they’re upside down,” the friend replied.
The other guy looks at the friend, then, after some thought, says, “You Idiot, save them for the ceiling!”



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