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Q: How do you get an actor off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How many assistant directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but she has to check with the director first to make sure he wants the bulb there.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don’t like to share a spotlight.

Q: What do you call 20 actors at the bottom of a lake?
A: A good start.

Q: A van with four actors in it goes off a cliff. What’s the tragedy in this?
A: You can fit a lot more than four actors in a van.



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