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Q: A van with four actors in it goes off a cliff. What’s the tragedy in this?
A: You can fit a lot more than four actors in a van.

Q: What’s the most dangerous thing in your average community theatre?
A: An actor with a power tool.

Q: What do directors do with dead actors?
A: Make them chorus members.

Matt’s dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Matt enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part. “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”
“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”

Q: What’s the difference between a dead actor in the road and a dead snake in the road?
A: Skid marks in front of the snake.

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