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Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: He doesn’t! He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

Nominated for quote of the year is the statement made by retiring Texas Republican Member of The House of Representatives, Dick Armey, who was asked: “If you had been in President Clinton’s place, would you have resigned?”

He responded: “If I were in the President’s place, I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, hearing Mrs. Armey standing over me saying, ‘How do I reload this damn thing?'”

Mother McGee went to drive C:
to find her poor Windows a byte
But when she inquired, all drive space expired
And not even Stacker would put it right.

Little Miss Muffet opened her notebook
and called on WordPerfect to write
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her,
and explained how the function keys worked.

Jack and Jill are married still
but things look kinda scary
He loves a PC; she’s fond of a Mac
and RISC makes both of them wary.

Mary had a little Lan
Then, she wanted more
First she bought a lot of RAM
Then part interest in a computer store.

Judge to member of the jury who was about to be sworn in but who had told the Court that he was deaf in one ear.
“You really can’t serve on the jury”
“Why not?”
“Because you can only hear one side”

When I told the doctor’s receptionist that I kept thinking I was a billiard ball she told me to get the end of the cue.

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