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With the recent rise of “Geek culture,” the long-held misperception that computer users are solitary, electronic slaves is slowly receding like a ten percent drop shadow. Geeks have asserted for years that they can party as hard as any testosterone-filled football player. To prove it, we present the tidbits Web Surfing Party Game (TBWSPG, pronounced “Fred”).

Fred is best experienced in a group setting (say, a rack of office cubicles at lunch time), but you can also play at home alone or networked, of course. To play, choose your favorite drink, connect to your ISP, and start surfing the Web. Remember to be responsible, and hand over the mouse when you’ve drunk too much.


* Your modem has to redial when connecting to your ISP (if more than five times, stop drinking and cancel that darn AOL account already!)

* You see a “Best Viewed With…” tag (twice if it’s animated)

* You get any error message (bad URL, etc.)

* You see an under construction sign

* You view a page with a Web counter (twice if it’s a broken graphic)

* You view a blink tag (not necessary to drink for every blink)

* You come across a Java applet (twice if it doesn’t load)

* You see the phrase “cool links”

* A background sound loads (you also must dance with drink in hand)

* Your browser crashes

* You have to resize the browser window

* A graphic doesn’t load


* You hit a JavaScript error

* You arrive at a password-protected site (if you can guess the password in three tries, collect a dollar from everyone in the room and chug drink)

* You find a home page purportedly belonging to someone’s pet

* “Cool” is spelled “kewl”

* You have to download a plug-in and restart your browser

* The graphics are broken on a Web designer’s home pages


* If you hit a Shockwave project, you have to wait to drink until it’s downloaded (This is a good chance to walk to the store for more drinks, render 3D images, or write a new operating system.)

Did you hear that Chelsea is suing Monica?
For swallowing her little brother!

Bill and Hillary Clinton are driving in the country near Hillary’s hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill stops at a gas station. The man at the gas station comes out and looks into the window.
“Hey, Hillary! We used to date in high school, do you remember me?” he asks.
They talk merrily for a few minutes. Bill pays, and they leave. As they drive, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary.
“You used to date that guy? Just think what life would be if you hadn’t married me,” he says. Hillary looks at Bill and says to him,
“Well, I guess you’d be pumping gas and he’d be President”

Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?

A: Birds of prey!

An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.”

© 2015