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This simple three question test illustrates how often Bill Clinton must be telling lies.

1. Is the Pope catholic?
2. Does Windows have bugs?
3. Does Clinton lie?

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. “Oh darling” he gushed, “Come here… let me look at you… let me hold you! Let’s have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I’ve missed your lovin’ so much!”
The wife, keeping her distance, said, “All in good time lover. First, let’s hear you play that harmonica.”

A man goes to hell and the devil greets him. He takes him to a hallway which has three different doors and tell the man he’ll have to choose one room to spend the rest of eternity in.
So he takes him to the first door and he opens it and sees everyone standing on their heads on wooden floors. The man thought that would be pretty terrible to spend the rest of eternity on his head on such a hard floor and asked the devil to show him the second door.
Everyone in the second room was standing on their heads on concrete. The man thought that was even worse to spend the rest of eternity on his head on an even harder floor.
Finally the devil takes him to the third door and in that room everyone is up to their knees in dog shit and drinking coffee. The man thought that was pretty bad, but at least they could drink coffee so he told the devil he chose the third room to spend the rest of eternity in. So the man, up to his knees in dog shit, drank coffee for a few minutes. Then the devil came back into the room and said “Coffee break is over. Back on your heads.”

Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?

A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.

Q: Do I have to dress as a man every day?
A: No, Saturday, Sunday and national holidays are exempt.

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