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If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she’d be Bo Ho.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.

If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she’d be Ella Vader.

If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.

If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he’d be Cat Doggy Dogg.

If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she’d be Olivia Newton- John Newton John.

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.

If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she’d be Liv Ito Beaver.

If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he’d be Boog Alou.

If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he’d be G. Ghali G.

Nog (Quark’s brother on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”) has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he’d be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.

If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he’d be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then Mr. Lucky, then Martin Short, then football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.

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Related:  Celebrity (+963)      

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

A. Got two fives for a ten?

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she’d be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it’s the ’90′s!, he’d be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elto John, she’d be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she’d be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he’d be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he’d be G. Ghali G.
Nog (Quark’s brother on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”) has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he’d be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she’d be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he’d be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, “Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.”

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Related:  Celebrity (+963)      

Q. What does Woody Allen call an unborn baby?

A. A blind date.

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Related:  Jewish (+6997)      

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.” (Henny Youngman)
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me – he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasnt met me yet.” (Rodney Dangerfield)
“Marriage is a wonderful institution – but who wants to live in an institution?” (Groucho Marx)
“This is the sixth book Ive written – not bad for a guy whos read only two.” (George Burns)
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger – comedy is if you fall into an sewer and die.” (Mel Brooks)
“Its not that Im afraid to die – I just dont want to be there when it happens.” (Woody Allen)
“The pen is mightier than the sword – and considerably easier to write with.” (Marty Feldman)

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