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Star Wars- Sexually Explicit Lines
10. “Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care what you smell!”
9. “Luke, at that speed do you think you’ll be able to pull out in time?”
8. “Put that thing away before you get us all killed.”
7. “You’ve got something jammed in here real good.”
6. “Aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?”
5. “You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.”
4. “Sorry about the mess…”
3. “Look at the size of that thing!”
2. “Curse my metal body, I wasn’t fast enough!”
1. “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”

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Q: Where does Jabba the Hutt eat?
A: Pizza Hutt

@Star Wars

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- You ever heard the phrase, *May the force be with y*all.*

- Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

- You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

- At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

- You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

- You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

- The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

- Wookies are offended by your B.O.

- You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn*t have to wait for a commercial.

- You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

- Your father has ever said to you, *Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it*ll be a hoot.*

- You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

- You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

- You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

- You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

- Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

- You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

- You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

- You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

- If you hear… *Luke, I am your father…and your uncle*

@Star Wars

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10. In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on “stun”.

9. The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp — The Millannium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a wookie.

8. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh — After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

7. One word: Lightsaber

6. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance

5. The Death Star doesn’t care if a world is “M” class or not.

4. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters

3. Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.

2. The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named “Slave I”

1. Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power — Han Solo floors it.

@Star Wars

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The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:
Free Yorkshire Terrior.
8 years-old. Hateful little dog.
———————————-
Free Puppies:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 Sneaky Neighbor’s Dog
———————————-
Free Puppies:
Part German Shepherd
Part Stupid Dog
———————————-
German Shepherd – 85lbs.
Neutered. Speaks German. Free!
———————————-
1 Man, 7 Women hot tub — $850/offer
———————————-
Amana Washer $100.
Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
———————————-
Snow blower for sale.
Only used on snowy days.
———————————-
2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.
———————————-
Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,
Comes with its own
1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto
Excellent Condition, $6,800.
———————————-
83 Toyota Hunchback — $2,000
———————————-
Star Wars Job of the Hut — $15
———————————-
Soft & Genital Bath Tissues
or Facial Tischue – $.89
———————————-
Full-Sized Mattress
20 Year Warranty
Like New! Slight urine smell.
———————————-
FREE 1 Can of Pork & Beans
With Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home
———————————-
Nordic Track $300
Hardly used. Call Chubbie.
———————————-
Bill’s Septic Cleaning
“We Haul American Made Products”
———————————-
Shakespeare’s Pizza – Free Chopsticks
———————————-
HUMMELS – Largest Selection Ever!
“If it’s in stock, we have it!”
———————————-
Get a Little John:
The Traveling Urinal
Holds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.
———————————-
Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club
———————————-
Georgia Peaches
California Grown – $.89/lb.
———————————-
Nice Parachute
Never Opened – Used Once
Slightly Stained
———————————-
American Flag
60 Stars – Pole Included – $100
———————————-
Tired of Working for only $9.75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.
———————————-
Exercise Equipment
Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs – $175
———————————-
Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!
And it’s made of 100% Italian Leather.
———————————-
Joining Nudist Colony!
Must Sell Washer & Dryer – $300
———————————-
Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.
———————————-
Alzheimer’s Center Prepares
for an Affair to Remember
———————————-
Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell
———————————-
Open House!
Body Shapers Toning Salon
Free Coffee & Donuts
———————————-
Kellogg’s Pot Tarts – $1.99/box.
———————————-
Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2.09/lb.
———————————-
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes – Excellent condition.
$1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.

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