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Interesting Facts
*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader’s lines, and didn’t know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie’s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
* Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.
* The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
* No word in the English language rhymes with month.
* The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
* There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
* Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
* Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
* Cat’s urine glows under a black light.
* Back in the mid to late 80’s, an IBM compatible computer wasn’t considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft’s Flight Simulator.
* The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
* It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.
* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
* Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
* The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
* Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously

* If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $
1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
* Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
* No NFL team which plays it’s home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl
* The first toilet ever seen on television was on “Leave It To Beaver”.
* In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured
* Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright’s son.
* One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers –they saw it as competition.
* The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.
* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older
* The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan”

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Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update
#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.
#9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers).
#8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk’s father (whoops, that’s from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes).
#7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy.
#6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges.
#5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product “concept”.
#4 Obi Wan’s name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says “I think he died X years ago” where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don’t kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press.
#3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC’s when they could have been replaced with a single Amiga 1000 with 512K of ram and still run “tons faster and do real multitasking unlike those PEE-CEEs”
#2 The Canteen now has real rock stars in it. They look as they normally do but still manage to look more alien than the original aliens in there.
#1 Death Star’s old slogan: “Fear this battle station”
Death Star’s NEW slogan: “Where do you want to go today?”

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Q: What goes ha-ha-ha-thump?
A: A droid laughing its head off.

@Star Wars

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Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma so ugly her face was on fire and I had to use a snow shovel to put it out.
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast-feed her
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said “Yes, let’s go bury it.”
Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly see hung her head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly she didn’t get hit with an ugly log she got jumped by the ugly jungle.
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly she had to tie a porch chops around her neck so that the dog would play with her.
Yo momma so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone.
Yo momma so ugly she looked in a mirror her reflection died.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly she makes a blind kid cries.
Yo momma so ugly she makes Freddy Cougar looks like Beyonce!
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly she went to dogs show and won
Yo momma so ugly someone mistaken her face as her butt!
Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her!
Yo momma so ugly that when she lies on a beach cats bury her in the sand.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma so ugly the dumpster wouldn’t even let her in.
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo momma so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma so ugly they don’t even have to use guns in the army cause they can use yo mama’s picture!
Yo momma so ugly they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make monster cookies.
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.”
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Damn, is it Halloween already?”
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off surveillance cameras
Yo momma so ugly when she was born her parents didn’t know where to put her in the house or under it.
Yo momma so ugly when she was born it took the whole cast of the x-files to figure out what she was!
Yo momma so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped the nurse to keep her from laughing.
Yo momma so ugly, even a politician wouldn’t kiss her.
Yo momma so ugly, if bricks were ugly, she could have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slap her mother.

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Alien Barbie – don’t tell ANYONE…
Amazon Barbie – in a leopard skin outfit
‘Arnold’ Ken – big and buff, no neck
Avalanche Barbie – buried in 16 feet of snow
Baler Barbie – wrapped in twine; also known as Farm Accident Barbie
Banjo Barbie – complete with straw hat and Earl Scruggs cassette
Banzai Barbie – a small tree cut into a shape that vaguely resembles Barbie
Barbie Brain in a Jar – an empty jar
Barbie of Borg – you will buy one. Resistance is futile!
Barbie-Got-Run-Over-by-a-Reindeer – an excellent Holiday gift idea
Barney Barbie – bloated, plush, and purple; pull the string and she spouts inane drivel
Battering Ram Barbie – Barbie’s head on the end of a battering ram
Bearded Barbie – complete with tweezers
Bigfoot Barbie – sold mostly in the Northwest
Biker Barbie – complete with leathers and tattoos
Bladder Control Barbie – comes with a free box of Depends undergarments
Blockhead Barbie – doll with Charlie Brown’s head
Body-Piercing Barbie – comes with mini-piercing gun and mini-body ornaments
Bow-Legged Barbie – high Stepper not included
Broken Bungee Barbie – Barbie doll lying broken on the pavement
Bugs Barbie – buckteeth, long ears
Cadaver Barbie – removable internal organs
Cartoon-style ‘Hit-in-the-Head-with-a-Falling-Anvil’ Barbie
Chain Smoker Barbie – with Surgeon General’s warning on box
Chernobyl Barbie – glows in the dark
Circus Clown Barbie – complete with scary face paint and scary wig
Crash Test Barbie – comes with car and brick wall
Cross-Dressing Ken, er, Barbie, er, Ken – who knows!
Cut-the-Lady-in-Half-Magic-Trick-that-Went-Wrong Barbie
Cyberpunk Barbie – includes ‘trodes and implants
Cyclops Barbie – one eye, right in the middle of her forehead; Cyclops Ken sold separately
Darth Vader Barbie – with plastic helmet; pull the string and she sounds like James Earl Jones
Death Row Barbie – comes complete with cell; raunchy cellmate sold separately
Diarrhea Barbie – always on the run; complete with mini-bottle of Pepto!
Dirty Harry Barbie – comes with large caliber pistol; pull the string and she says, “Go ahead *giggle* Make my day!”
Disco Barbie – dressed in chiffon; includes disco ball
Divorce Barbie – includes the house, the car, and half of Ken’s belongings
Drag Queen Ken – comes with three, count ’em, three of Barbie’s dresses
East German Swim Team Barbie – a Barbie head on a Ken doll
Easter Island Barbie – the famous statue with blonde hair
Ebola Barbie – twelve hours after opening she’ll be reduced to nothing
Edible Barbie – also known as Choc-O-Barbie
Elmer Fudd Ken – bald with hunting hat and rifle
Elvira Barbie – with skimpy black gown and long, black hair
Eye Patch Barbie – with a choice of eye patch colors: purple, hot pink, or aqua!
Fast Food Barbie – also known as McBarbie…you want fries with that?
Fat Barbie – in the following three varieties: Big Butt Barbie, Love Handles Barbie, More Chins than a Chinese Phone Book Barbie
FemmiNazi Barbie – pull the string and find out why men stink
Flying Hero Barbie – yes, I know they made this one, but it’s at least as ludicrous as anything we came up with!
Forrest Gump Ken – pull his string and he complains for two and a half boring hours
FrankenBarbie – comes with bolts through her neck
Frozen Barbie on a Stick – in your grocer’s frozen food section
Funeral Home Barbie – complete with hearse, coffin and kicky little shroud
Gangsta Barbie – complete set of Raiders apparel; rap cassette included
Godzilla Barbie – six foot tall lizard with Barbie head
Green Giant Barbie – Green Giant with Barbie’s head–or vice versa
Grunge Barbie – with flannel shirt and a goatee
Headgear Barbie – guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!
Hippie Barbie – complete with simulated controlled substances and paraphernalia
Hiroshima Barbie – just a shadow of her former self
Hockey Barbie – comes with hockey stick and missing teeth
Homeless Barbie – complete with stolen K-Mart shopping cart
House Wife Barbie – dressed in ratty, old housecoat; comes with dirty laundry and sink full of dishes
Human Cannonball Barbie – complete with spring-loaded cannon that will shoot her 15-20 feet
Hunchback Barbie – pull the string and she cries, “Sanctuary! Sanctuary!”
Jabba the Barbie – Jabba with a Barbie head
Joan of Arc Barbie – comes with stake, kindling, and matches
Jock Barbie – looks like Dennis Rodman
Joker Barbie – Barbie with Joker grin and white face
Junkie Barbie – complete with needle tracks
King Kong Barbie – six foot tall ape holding Barbie doll dressed like Fae Rae
Kleptomaniac Barbie – doll with suction cup hands
Lance Ito Ken – with beard, robe, and entirely too much advertising
LAPD Barbie – comes with two nightsticks, in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available.
Las Vegas Showgirl Barbie – complete with pasties
Lion Tamer Barbie – lion is included; Barbie’s head is not
Living Dead Barbie – use your imagination
Lumberjack Barbie – sleeps all night, works all day
Mafia Ken – with a violin case…you got a problem with that?
Mafia Victim Barbie – feet set in cement–she really sinks!
Manic-Depressive Barbie – with a set of Oriental throwing knives
Marie Antionette Barbie – with removable head; guillotine included
Marsha Clark Barbie – with a bad haircut and a bad attitude
Medusa Barbie – Barbie with snakes for hair
Mick Jagger Barbie – Mick with Barbie’s head…but Mick’s lips
Microsoft Barbie – Barbie doll with Bill Gates’ head
Militant Femminist Barbie – with an assault rifle
Mortal Kombat Barbie – includes more blood than you can even imagine
Mutant Barbie – Professor Xavier’s daughter: bald as a billiard ball, wearing a Dark Phoenix costume
Nancy Kerrigan Barbie – her knees bend backwards
Napoleon Ken – stands 2″ tall
Neon Deion Barbie – it costs $35 million, and you just know some idiot’s going to buy it…
NRA Barbie – comes with assault rifle and picture of Charlton Heston
One-Eyed-Head-on-a-Spider-Made-from-an-Erector-Set-Barbie – just what it sounds like
Opera Barbie – complete with the horns and the brass brassiere
Oscar Meyer Barbie – Barbie on a bun
Picasso Barbie – everything’s in the wrong place
Politically Incorrect Barbie – pull the string and she loudly blurts all your favorite racial slurs
Potato(e) Head Barbie – also just what it sounds like
Power Ranger Barbie – with karate-chop action; complete with the ridiculous outfit
Princess Leia Barbie – Barbie with the hairdo from Star Wars
Rasta Barbie – she’s got a tie-dyed t-shirt, dreadlocks and reggae CD; rolling papers sold separately
Rastafarian Barbie – she has dreadlocks and ganja, mon!
Realistic Teenage Barbie – complete with flat chest, braces and acne; pull her string and hear an outpouring of sassy, bratty phrases
Roadkill Barbie – unrecognizable
Rock Climbing Barbie – with climbing gear
Rush Limbarbie – big, no neck, but not buff
Safari Barbie – with rifle, pith helmet, and pygmy guide
Saloon Barbie – dressed like Old West Saloon girl
Samuel L. Jackson Ken – he’ll get medieval on you
Shark Attack Barbie – oh, must we describe everything for you?
Sharon Stone Barbie – is there a difference?
Shish-Ka-Barbie – here’s one we’d all like to see!
Shock Therapy Barbie – car battery and wires included
Siamese Twins Barbie – complete with surgical instruments
Spear-through-the-Head-Barbie – no description necessary
Spock Ken – with pointy ears; one eyebrow raised
Stampede Barbie – we’re not talking about the rodeo in Calgary here…
Steamroller Barbie – doll squashed flat
Steroid Barbie – the rest of her physique is as exaggerated as her bust is on the normal doll!
Stuntman Ken – comes with lots of Band-Aids
Sumo Barbie – comes with thong
T2 Barbie – a study in silver
Tail Hook Barbie – naval uniform with a VERY short skirt
Tammy Fae Barbie – with WAY too much makeup
Tasmanian Barbie – spins like a top!
Tattoo Barbie – with tattoos you can apply!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Barbie – one of the Turtles with Barbie head
Teenage Pregnancy Barbie – complete with dropout forms. Angry parents and deadbeat boyfriend sold separately
Texas Necktie Barbie – with gallows
Tonya Harding Barbie – you didn’t think we’d sell one without the other, did you?
Tool Time Barbie – includes tool belt, which she has no idea what to do with
Trailer Park Barbie – for the parent who wants to show their child what grown-up life is really going to be like
Trailer Trash Barbie – complete with doublewide trailer home
Tree Hugger Barbie – pull the string and she spouts environmentalist rhetoric
Two-Face Barbie – Barbie with Tommy Lee Jones’ makeup from Batman Forever
Venus de Milo Barbie – made of rock; no head, no arms
Werewolf Barbie – normal doll, except under a full moon
Whoopie Cushion Barbie – do you really need a description?
Witch Doctor Barbie – with potions and face paints
Wookie Barbie – obnoxious blonde hair everywhere

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