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25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS – by O.J. Simpson

24. THE ENGINEER’S GUIDE TO FASHION

23. TO ALL THE MEN I’VE LOVED BEFORE – by Ellen DeGeneres

22. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND DILBERT

21. HUMAN RIGHTS ADVANCES IN CHINA

20. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY – by Dennis Rodman

19. THE WILD YEARS – by Al Gore

18. HOW TO BE A WORLD LEADER – by Saddam Hussein

17. AMERICA’S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

16. CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS

15. DETROIT – A TRAVEL GUIDE

14. DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB

13. DR. KEVORKIAN’S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES

12. EASY UNIX

11. ETHIOPIAN TIPS ON WORLD DOMINANCE

10. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

9. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN

8. FRENCH HOSPITALITY

7. GEORGE FOREMAN’S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES

6. HOW TO SUSTAIN A MUSICAL CAREER – by Art Garfunkel

5. MIKE TYSON’S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES – by the EPA

3. STAPLE YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS

2. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

1. THE BOOK OF VIRTUES – by Bill Clinton

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Related:  Kids (+2428), Politics (+3832), School (+377)      

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth’”?
Again, no response except from Martinez: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”, said Martinez.
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans.”
“Who said that?” she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”
The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”
Again, Martinez says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”
Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.”
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re in BIG trouble!”
Martinez said, “Saddam Hussein 2003.”

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Related:  Politics (+3832)      

Saddam Hussein is wondering why the United Nations won’t approve a “no-open-fly zone” around the Oval Office.

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Related:  Politics (+3832)      

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had a
wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful
country, and on each house I saw a banner.”

“What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks.

Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.”

Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night
I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more
beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house
flew an enormous banner.”

“What could you see on the banners?” Saddam asks.

Clinton replies, “I don’t know. I can’t read Hebrew.”

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Related:  Politics (+3832)      

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the
son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?” She saw a sea of blank
faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.”
“Very good! Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the
people, shall not perish from the earth’”?
Again, no response except from Martinez: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”, said
Martinez.
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed.
Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than
you do.”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans.”
“Who said that?” she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”
The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”
Again, Martinez says, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”
Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”
Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
teacher, “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you
say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to
Chandra Levy 2001.”
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on
the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re in BIG trouble!”
Martinez said, “Saddam Hussein 2003.”

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