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Related:  Chicken (+17), Lists (+737)      

* Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

* Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp. What chicken?

* George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

* Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.

* Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

* Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

* Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

* Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

* Gerald R. Ford: It probably fell from an airplane and couldn’t stop its forward Momentum.

* Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.

* Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen- principle made it do it.

* Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

* Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.

* John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!

* James Joyce: Once upon a time a nice little chicken named baby tuckoo crossed the road and met a moocow coming down…

* Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail – the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost!

* Immanuel Kant: Because it was a duty.

* Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

* Capt. James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

* Mr. Scott: ‘Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

* Stan Laurel: I’m sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.

* Gottfried Von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross.

* Groucho Marx: Chicken? What’s all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

* Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle- class struggle.

* Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

* Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry?

* Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

* Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.

* Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

* Ayn Rand: It was crossing the road because of its own rational choice to do so. There cannot be a collective unconscious; desires are unique to each individual.

* Ronald Reagan: I forget.

* John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

* William Shakespeare: I don’t know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred- line soliloquy without much ado.

* Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

* Mr. T: If you saw me coming you’d cross the road too!

* Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

* Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

* Walt Whitman: To cluck the song of itself.

* William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.

* Henny Youngman: Take this chicken … please.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

Famous interpretations of “Why did the Chicken cross the road?”
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please…
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him down!
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
L.A Poliece Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we’ll find out.
Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what “they” call it: the “other side”. Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!
Ronald Regan: What Chicken?
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!
ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you’re telling me? Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Marting Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it’s true?
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother? Bill Gates: We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
The CI
A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.
Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken.

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Related:  Politics (+3829)      

Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued,
with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General,
stressing that it should be of international quality.
The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing
complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become
furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered
him to investigate the matter.
The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and
then reported on the problem to him.
He said:” Sir, the stamp is really of international quality.
The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!”

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Related:  Law (+1199)      

In front of you stand four men: Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and a lawyer. You are holding a gun which contains only three bullets. Who do you shoot?
Use all three bullets on the lawyer.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued,
with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General,
stressing that it should be of international quality.
The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing
complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become
furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered
him to investigate the matter.
The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and
then reported on the problem to him.
He said:” Sir, the stamp is really of international quality.
The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!”

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