Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100180 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Lists (+737), Redneck (+1460)      

You taught your children how to play “Pull My Finger.”
You tell everyone your wife is the reincarnation of Ares, the god of war.
You tell Grandpa he has something in his teeth and he takes them out to see.
You tell your wife to squeal like a pig to start foreplay.
You thing “megabytes” means a good day fishing.
You think “Chablis” is the name of last month’s Playboy centerfold.
You think “Country & Western” covers both types of music.
You think “dual airbags” refers to your wife and mother-in-law.
You think “Dueling Banjos” is classical music.
You think “harass” are two words.
You think “Hooked on Phonics” is a fishing show.
You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.
You think “manual labor” is a Spanish ambassadar.
You think “Meals on Wheels” is another name for roadkill.
You think “Old Yeller” refers to your brother’s tooth.
You think “Ross Perot” is how your cousin Ross got out of jail early.
You think “six to ten pounds” on the side of the Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.
You think “social consciousness” means how well you can hold your liquor.
You think “taking out the trash” means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.
You think “trash TV” is something in your backyard.
You think “wind sprints” means running from a fart.
You think 2 Pac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.
You think 401k is your mother-in-law’s bra size.
You think 7-11 is a grocery store.
You think a “thesaurus” was a dinosaur.
You think a “cursor” is someone who swears a lot.
You think a canopy goes under the bed instead of over it.
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You think a computer hacker carries an axe.
You think a dashboard is the best place to keep your hats.
You think a date is going out mooning people.
You think a hard drive is driving more than one hour.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You think a lava lamp is erotic.
You think a lavatory is a breed of dog.
You think a manicure is some kind of French doctor.
You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive department is raising your truck another 8 inches.
You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
You think a stock tip is advice on wormin’ your hogs.
You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient for soup.
You think a TV dinner consists of a RC Cola and a moonpie.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy.
You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
You think an oil change involves a comb and a bottle of Vitalis.
You think beef jerky and Moonpies are two of the major food groups.
You think beef stroganoff is when the bull is playing with himself.
You think Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
You think coming from a broken home means your trailer has a flat.
You think country and western are the two kinds of music.
You think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.
You think cur is a breed of dog.
You think deer hunting should be an Olympic sport.
You think dingle berries are a fruit.
You think doctorin’ involves mamma’s sewing kit and a jug.
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
You think dressing up is putting on all your camo.
You think every bottle of wine comes with a screw cap.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 miles an hour.
You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.
You think French onion dip is an exotic tobacco product.
You think garabage pickin’ is a hobbie.
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You think golf is when you try to hit the ball up your neighbors hole
You think good china is China without any Chinese people.
You think Hamlet is on the McDonald’s breakfast menu.
You think hocking loogies onto oncoming vehicles should be an Olympic sport.
You think icing is what you do to your front steps before your mother in law comes over.
You think Iraq is a high performance Camaro.
You think Iraq is top-of-the-line Camaro.
You think its okay to have your 6 year old babysit your 5, 4, and 3-year o.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
You think mud rasslin’ should be an Olympic sport.
You think NSYNC is where the dirty dishes are.
You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne.
You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother’s tooth.
You think paprika is a Third World country.
You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
You think people who have elictricty are uppity.
You think Possum is “The Other White Meat”
You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre.
You think Purina is some kind of Ex-Lax.
You think ribs come from Europe.
You think safe sex is a padded headboard.
You think safe sex is having a pad in the headboard of your bed.
You think safe sex means putting on the emergency brake.
You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
You think suspenders are a type of shirt.
You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You think Tang is in the fruit group.
You think that “G.E.D.” stands for “Good Enough Degree”
You think that “HANK” of “Huntin with Hank” is a real fine actor
You think that “loaden up the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.
You think that “Winnie-the-Pooh” is something your Granny just left on the rug.
You think that anyone with ten fingers and toes is abnormal.
You think that Australia is ruled by the south because their flags are similar.
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
You think that Don Perignon is a Mafia leader.
You think that duct tape works better than spot welding.
You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You think that Marlboro is a cologne.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’ouerve.
You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.
You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
You think that the apple com-pu-ter is the latest in new fangled tech-o-nol-o-gee.
You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You think the “Nutcracker” is something you do on the diving board.
You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator.
You think the Battle of the Bulge is an argument between your wife and your mother.
You think the best way to keep things cold is to leave ’em in the shade.
You think the blood on the back of your pickup truck looks cool.
You think the blood on the front of your pickup truck looks cool.
You think the Bud Bowl is real.
You think the first four words of the national anthem are, “”Gentlemen start your engines”.
You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.
You think the freeway is the back door of the movie theater.
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
You think the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.
You think the Internet is a new fishing tool.
You think the internet is something you use fishing.
You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are: “Gentlemen start your engines.”
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines” or “Play Ball… ”
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are “Play Ball… ”
You think the most popular pick-up line is “Nice tooth!”
You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just “misunderstood”.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You think the OJ Trial was a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You think the only tools “real men” need are duck tape and caulk, and you have sucessful repair projects to prove it.
You think the phrase “chicken out” means one of your pets has escaped.
You think the play The King and I is about Elvis.
You think the police can’t see you because your truck is painted camouflage.
You think the quarterhorse is the ride outside of Wal-Mart.
You think the Roman Empire has somthing to do with a cell phone.
You think the space program is fake and pro wrestling is real.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the stock market is a place to buy hogs, hens, or chickens!
You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You think the theory of relativity has something to do with inbreeding.
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
You think the tobacco companies have done nothing wrong.
You think the ultimate beauty treatment is using Preparation-H to prevent wrinkles.
You think the unibomber was a wrestler.
You think the vowels are E..I..E..I..O.
You think the winter Olympic sport of curling is part of the “Big Hair” competition.
You think the WWF is a romantic sport.
You think there’s nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
You think those yellow traffic signs that say “Slow children at play” means the kids in the area are not too bright.
You think Thunderbird is an acceptable wine choice with a bean burrito.
You think toilet water is exactly that.
You think truffles are a brand of potato chips.
You think virgin wool comes from ugly sheep.
You think W.W.J.D stands for, “What would Junior do?”
You think Wal-Mart is expensive.
You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.
You think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard.
You think your IQ is the number of coons you shot out of season.
You think your sister is sexier than your wife.
You think, “recycle” means to ride your bike again.
You thought ER was ET’s cousin.
You thought Texas A&M is a root beer made in Texas.
You thought the Sega Dreamcast was a new fishing rod.
You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.
You thought the Y2K Bug was a new species of insect.
You throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it.
You time your belches to achieve a personal best.
You tip the waiter with change.
You took your coon dogs on your honeymoon.
You took your sister/brother to the prom.
You tried to claim “loss of teeth” as an exemption on your taxes.
You use a 55 Chevy as a guesthouse.
You use a bed sheet as a sofa cover.
You use a gas can to fill up your pick up truck.
You use a NASCAR credit card.
You use a pig for a garbage disposal.
You use a weedeater in your living room.
You use an ironing board as a knick-knack shelf.
You use Armor-All on your leather jacket.
You use baling wire to keep your car door closed.
You use bread twisters for ornament hooks on your Christmas tree.
You use channel locks for a nose hair trimmer.
You use coffee filters when you run out of toilet tissue.
You use dental floss to restring your banjo.
You use duct-tape as bikini wax.
You use lava soap more than three times a day.
You use mason jars to make lamps.
You use old auto parts as a boat anchor.
You use the “O” on the stop sign in front of your house to sight in your new rifle.
You use the car that is broken down in the driveway as a tool shed.
You use the CD-ROM drive on your computer to hold your beer.
You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
You use the shaving cream made for tough beards and so does your husband.
You use the term “over yonder’ more than once a month.
You use the water in your toilet to bob for apples.
You use the word “man” at least four times in each sentence you speak.
You use the word ain’t a lot.
You use your belt buckle as identification
You use your boxers as a surrender flag.
You use your computer as a stereo.
You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
You use your front porch as a deerstand.
You use your great uncle’s underpants for cleaning rags.
You use your native language, to cuss at your kids, to cover up the fact that you are a redneck in your native country.
You use your shoe as a tobacco can.
You use your shower curtain as your Prom dress.
You use your water gun as a shower sprayer.
You use your weed whacker as a toothpick.
You vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.
You videotape fishing shows.
You view duct tape as a long-term investment.
You view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.
You wait all night to shoot one mouse with your grandma’s BB gun.
You wake up in the morning already dressed for work.
You wake up the day after your wedding to find your sister next to you.
You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.
You walk the ends off your jeans instead of hemming them.
You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
You wash your truck in a mud puddle.
You watch “The Dukes Of Hazzard” and have to find someone to explain it to you.
You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
You watch Jerry Springer to see if any of your relatives are on the show today.
You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
You wax your eyebrows with duck tape.
You wear a tank top to your mother’s funeral.
You wear a tube top to a wedding.
You wear camouflage pants with a plaid flannel shirt and combat boots.
You wear cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.
You wear flannel shirts no matter what season it is.
You wear knee-high stockings with a skirt.
You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
You wear your Mom’s dress that she wore at her funeral.
You wear your softball uniform even on the days you’re not playing.
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45’s.
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 8-tracks.
You were allowed to drink beer and date the teacher all through high school.
You were born and raised in a pickup truck.
You were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth.
You were expelled from summer school.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32382)      

BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk, then reattaches it. Unfortunately, the area is permanently disabled.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB,and then slowly expands back to 200 MB.

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much for the AT&T Virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack — once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a “virus,” but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a consultant about possible alternatives.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.

MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates your session and then disappears. It’ll be back.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining a binary network.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Thers sumthin rong wit yur komputerw butt ewe jsut cant figyour it out!

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)

TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints “Oh no you don’t!” whenever you choose “Abort” from the “Abort, Retry, Fail” message.

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

AIRLINE VIRUS: You’re in Dallas, but your data ends up in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes asking for more money.

ELVIS VIRUS: Makes your computer get fat and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across America.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to suddenly become a paper shredder.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32382)      

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counsellor about possible alternatives.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process without joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe just cant figyour out watt!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3. 5 percent margin of error. )
TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints “Oh no you don’t” whenever you choose “Abort” from the “Abort” “Retry” “Fail” message.
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIANVIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVISVIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
NIKEVIRUS: Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data wont appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.
CONGRESSIONALVIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song(slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, “Read my docs. . . . No new files!” on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS: Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in “self defense”.
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS – Claims that if you don’t send it a million dollars, it’s programmer will take it back. Use your virus scan, don’t let any of these viruses happen to your PC!

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Lists (+737), Redneck (+1460)      

You taught your children how to play “Pull My Finger.”
You tell everyone your wife is the reincarnation of Ares, the god of war.
You tell Grandpa he has something in his teeth and he takes them out to see.
You tell your wife to squeal like a pig to start foreplay.
You thing “megabytes” means a good day fishing.
You think “Chablis” is the name of last month’s Playboy centerfold.
You think “Country & Western” covers both types of music.
You think “dual airbags” refers to your wife and mother-in-law.
You think “Dueling Banjos” is classical music.
You think “harass” are two words.
You think “Hooked on Phonics” is a fishing show.
You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.
You think “manual labor” is a Spanish ambassadar.
You think “Meals on Wheels” is another name for roadkill.
You think “Old Yeller” refers to your brother’s tooth.
You think “Ross Perot” is how your cousin Ross got out of jail early.
You think “six to ten pounds” on the side of the Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.
You think “social consciousness” means how well you can hold your liquor.
You think “taking out the trash” means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.
You think “trash TV” is something in your backyard.
You think “wind sprints” means running from a fart.
You think 2 Pac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.
You think 401k is your mother-in-law’s bra size.
You think 7-11 is a grocery store.
You think a “thesaurus” was a dinosaur.
You think a “cursor” is someone who swears a lot.
You think a canopy goes under the bed instead of over it.
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You think a computer hacker carries an axe.
You think a dashboard is the best place to keep your hats.
You think a date is going out mooning people.
You think a hard drive is driving more than one hour.
You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You think a lava lamp is erotic.
You think a lavatory is a breed of dog.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Technology (+1814)      

* Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.

* You can no longer sit through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

* You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can’t because there isn’t one typewriter in your house – only computers with laser printers.

* You think of the gadgets in your office as “friends,” but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

* You disdain people who use low Baud rates.

* When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers – and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers’ questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

* You use the phrase “digital compression” in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

* You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase “digital compression.” Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don’t have to explain it.

* You know Bill Gates’ e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.

* You stop saying “phone number” and replace it with “voice number,” since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.

* You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.

* Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-).

* You back up your data every day.

* Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse.

* You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.

* On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.

* The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind.

* You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot’s phrase “electronic town hall” makes more sense than the term “information superhighway,” but you don’t because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.

* You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names.

* You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.

* You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it’s okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling.

* You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-quarter and three-and-a-half-inch sizes.

* Al Gore strikes you as an “intriguing” fellow.

* You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are.

* While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.

* You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say “I don’t know” when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.

* You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.

* You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.

* You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better – the track ball or the track *pad*.

* You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don’t use a laptop.

* You email this message to your friends over the net. You’d never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com