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Famous interpretations of “Why did the Chicken cross the road?”
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please…
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him down!
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
L.A Poliece Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we’ll find out.
Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what “they” call it: the “other side”. Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!
Ronald Regan: What Chicken?
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!
ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you’re telling me? Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Marting Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it’s true?
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother? Bill Gates: We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
The CI
A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.
Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

President Ronald Regan told this joke about Fidel Castro:
Castro was addressing a large audience in Cuba, and he began, “They accuse me of intervening in Angola…” and a man going through the audience called out, “Peanuts! Popcorn!”
Castro went on: “They say I’m intervening in Mozambique…” and the same loud voice shouted, “Peanuts! Popcorn!
Castro continued: “They say I’m intervening in Nicaragua…” and the voice yelled again, “Peanuts! Popcorn!”
By this time Castro was boiling mad and he sputtered, “Bring that man who is shouting ‘Peanuts! Popcorn!’ to me, and I’ll kick him all the way to Miami.”
And everybody in the audience started shouting, “Peanuts! Popcorn!”

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Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

Oy of the Beholder – Singles kvetch about their awful dates.

Girls, Interrupted – Women’s section of Shul shusshed during davening (prayers).

The Seder House Rules – Zaydie lays down the law on Pesach.

Angela’s Kashas – Woman reveals secret recipes.

The Six Cents – Three Jews each put in their two-cents’ worth.

Snow Falling on Seders – Unexpected storm disrupts Passover.

Supernova – Space scientists discover powerful strain of lox.

Dreydel Will Rock – Chanukah toy comes alive.

Sleepy Hallah – On Friday night, father fills up on bread, dozes off.

Stuart Ladle – Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.

The Whole Nine Yids – Struggling shul waits for tenth.

The Green Mohel – Young man performs first circumcision

Mun on the Moon – Astronauts discover hamantaschen filling, not green cheese, on lunar surface.

Gonif with the Wind – A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.

The Putzman Rings Twice – A mohel murder mystery

Schnorer Rae – A freeloader tries to get in on the union movement

Balaboosta Cockburn – John Wayne’s wife memorizes Grossinger cookbook

The Good, the Chabbad, and the Ugly – A kosher noodle western

Moby Dreck – Captain Ahab harpoons the wrong end of the whale

The Cincinnati Yid – Steve McQueen uses some of his poker winnings to start a reform congregation

Litvak Big Man – Dustin Hoffman learns that his parents are an American Indian and a Lithuanian immigrant

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kibbitzer – Paul Newman and Robert Redford do some standup shtick while they rob their victims.

Bridge over the River Kvetch – The extras complain that whistling the theme song dries out their mouth and hurts their lips

The Creature from the Black Latke – An overdone potato pancake turns into a monster

Mamza Poppins – A talented nanny has questions about her birth legitimacy

The Matzo Candidate – Frank Sinatra is brainwashed into thinking it’s always Passover

Mister Schnapps Goes to Washington – Jimmy Stewart thinks he’s still filming Harvey

Driedls of the Lost Ark – Harrison Ford plays Chanukah games

Aleph Doesn’t Live Here Anymore – Neither the waitress nor the old Hebrew school can be found

Borscht-time for Bonzo – Ronald Regan tries to train an Ashkenazy monkey

Singing in the Ch’rain – Gene Kelly gets horseradish on his umbrella

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Related:  Animals (+5196)      

Famous interpretations of “Why did the Chicken cross the road?”

Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please…

Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him down!

Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?

L.A Poliece Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we’ll find out.

Jerry Falwell:
Because the chicken was gay! isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what “they” call it: the “other side”. Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!

Ronald Regan:
What Chicken?

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!

ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you’re telling me?

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Marting Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it’s true?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?

Bill Gates: We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

The CIA: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken.

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Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

Oy of the Beholder – Singles kvetch about their awful dates.

Girls, Interrupted – Women’s section of Shul shusshed during davening (prayers).

The Seder House Rules – Zaydie lays down the law on Pesach.

Angela’s Kashas – Woman reveals secret recipes.

The Six Cents – Three Jews each put in their two-cents’ worth.

Snow Falling on Seders – Unexpected storm disrupts Passover.

Supernova – Space scientists discover powerful strain of lox.

Dreydel Will Rock – Chanukah toy comes alive.

Sleepy Hallah – On Friday night, father fills up on bread, dozes off.

Stuart Ladle – Mouse makes chicken soup for Shabbos.

The Whole Nine Yids – Struggling shul waits for tenth.

The Green Mohel – Young man performs first circumcision

Mun on the Moon – Astronauts discover hamantaschen filling, not green cheese, on lunar surface.

Gonif with the Wind – A thief tries to acquire ownership of Tara through a forged deed.

The Putzman Rings Twice – A mohel murder mystery

Schnorer Rae – A freeloader tries to get in on the union movement

Balaboosta Cockburn – John Wayne’s wife memorizes Grossinger cookbook

The Good, the Chabbad, and the Ugly – A kosher noodle western

Moby Dreck – Captain Ahab harpoons the wrong end of the whale

The Cincinnati Yid – Steve McQueen uses some of his poker winnings to start a reform congregation

Litvak Big Man – Dustin Hoffman learns that his parents are an American Indian and a Lithuanian immigrant

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kibbitzer – Paul Newman and Robert Redford do some standup shtick while they rob their victims.

Bridge over the River Kvetch – The extras complain that whistling the theme song dries out their mouth and hurts their lips

The Creature from the Black Latke – An overdone potato pancake turns into a monster

Mamza Poppins – A talented nanny has questions about her birth legitimacy

The Matzo Candidate – Frank Sinatra is brainwashed into thinking it’s always Passover

Mister Schnapps Goes to Washington – Jimmy Stewart thinks he’s still filming Harvey

Driedls of the Lost Ark – Harrison Ford plays Chanukah games

Aleph Doesn’t Live Here Anymore – Neither the waitress nor the old Hebrew school can be found

Borscht-time for Bonzo – Ronald Regan tries to train an Ashkenazy monkey

Singing in the Ch’rain – Gene Kelly gets horseradish on his umbrella

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