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What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
They were both upset when Bill finished first.

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Related:  Politics (+3829)      

SLICK WILLIE’S PLACE
(To the tune of Gilligan’s Island)

Oh sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started in Hope, Arkansas,
‘Tween Jennifer Flowers’ hips.

Her date was the mighty governor,
Bill Clinton was his name.
One night he met young Paula Jones,
And on to her he came.
And on to her he came.

WhiteWater started getting rough.
His mighty pecker was lost.
If not for the help of the Highway Patrol,
He couldn’t get it off,
He couldn’t get it off.

Willie left town and settled in,
This gorgeous new White House.
With Hillary, that damn cat too,
The Vice President and his wife,
Kenneth Starr, and a bed
Here at Slick Willie’s Place!

So this is the tale of our President,
He shows nothing now but class.
Nothing can distract him,
Except a piece of ass.
Except a piece of ass.

The First Lady and Tipper too,
Will do their very best.
To see that Willie’s comfortable,
In his government love nest.

He moves, he strikes, he reels them in,
He feels the passion burn.
Before she knows just what is up,
He’s banged the new intern.
He’s banged the new intern.

So join us here in court my friend,
I’m sure you will be pleased.
Just give your deposition,
And get down upon your knees.

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Related:  Politics (+3829)      

Did you here what Monica Lewinskys’ mother said when she brought home her dress?
What,doesn’t the White House have any club soda?

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Related:  Politics (+3829)      

‘TWAS A NIGHT BEFORE CRISIS

Twas a night during crisis and
Bill’s feelin’ a bit ill,
He hopes Congress will swallow all his B.S.
He gave them their fill.

Ken Starr has informed
every person on earth…
We know it all,
except his legnth and his girth.

We really don’t care
about all the sexual facts,
We’re more concerned
with the dignity he lacks.

We want a President
we know we can trust,
Not one that we think of
and hope they will bust.

We know Whitewater
was impossible to prosecute…
All the witnesses are gone,
There’s no one left to shoot.

Our country is hangin’
out there by a thread,
Seems Ole’ Bill
also has China in bed!

Now, some say Linda
was a back-biting pal,
But, Monica knows
this information is foul.

For she is alive to relate all the facts
REMEMBER…
witnesses usually lay in graves,
on their backs.

“It’s all a coincidence”
so many should die,
Or is the coincidence
so many WOULDN’T LIE?

40,000,000….they yell
for this screwy mess?
Not much to pay to save
Our Country…NO LESS!!

Bases are closed
leaving us defenseless,
Doesn’t anyone think that
this is plain Senseless?

“Economy’s good”….
many do scream,
I’ve got my SSI check,
that was my Big dream!

“Economy’s Great”!!!
My pockets are full.
But the guy workin’ 2 jobs
knows this is pure BULL!!

Babies are killed
when they’re half way born,
the states are all flooded
with drugs and with porn.

Metal detectors
we find in our schools
and there is no respect
for any of the rules.

But its okay to dodge the draft,
don’t inhale, lie under oath,
twist the facts to fit your ways
Follow Slick Willie, HE NEVER PAYS!!!!

He uses our laws
to do as he will,
Laws are for common folks,
not for Slick Bill!

Go Ahead,
watch “Friends” on TV,
don’t get involved…..
since you really can’t see.

Just sit there and complain
about Kenneth Starr,
over a drink
at your favorite bar.

Get it all over with,
My heads in the sand,
Bill’s a Great Guy,
I think he’s just GRAND!!

Excuse the Scoundrel that
will bury us all
But, don’t complain to me,
if the country does fall.

Sorry Buddy, is our reply,
We love this country
and Bill’s BOLOGNA
just DON’T FLY!!!

Now, on the real issues
Bill’s covered every track.
Hillary’s made sure to
give him no slack.

But, Starr is confident…
in every way,
’cause when Slick Willie is horny
he just has to play!

Slick Willie is careless
when Little Willie wants out,
He’ll call Monica
She’ll come….No doubt!!

She’ll even bring Pizza
and we can party in here,
Everyone will keep quiet,
My henchmen are near!

And Willie was sloppy
as we all know,
He let it all hang-out
Woops….There it goes!!!

Subpoenas are issued
and Starr’s smiling big,
The country’s big chance
To throw out this pig.

We hope its not too late
to bring the jerk down,
And rebuild the country….
On solid good ground.

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Related:  Jewish (+6997)      

Howard, a young gay man telephones his mother.
“Mum, I’ve decided to go back into the closet. I’ve met a wonderful girl and we are going to be married. What do you think of this news? You’ll be happier now – I know that my gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to you.”
She responds, “I’m very glad, Howard. I suppose it would be too much to hope that she’s a Jewish girl?”
Howard replies, “Not only is she Jewish, mum, but she comes from a wealthy Beverly Hills family.”
“So what’s her name?”
“Monica Lewinsky”.
There is a pause, then his mother asks, “What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?”

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