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Photos showing Monica Lewinsky’s progress in her highly publicized diet deal with Jenny Craig shows that their newest spokeswoman is making headway in her battle to lose 100 lbs. In fact, she’s lost 30 lbs. already.

I can’t wait to hear her new commercial touting her success: “Hi, I’m Monica Lewinsky. Ever since I started on the Jenny Craig Diet, I think twice about everything I put in my mouth…”

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Did you here what Monica Lewinskys’ mother said when she brought home her dress?
What,doesn’t the White House have any club soda?

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The FBI will conduct DNA tests on a blue cocktail dress worn by Monica Lewinsky to determine whether it contains semen stains that could corroborate claims by the former intern that she had sexual relations with President Clinton…… Proving that Clinton might be a “trickle down” politician after all…

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Did you know that “Monica Lewinsky” is an anagram of “wank my silicone”?

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A PRESIDENT IN LOVE
(To the tune of Dion’s “A Teenager in Love”)

Last night we had a quarrel
Over a cute little tart
‘Cause I lost my head
From the very start.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

One day I loved old Hillary
Next day I was a cad
Guess I’m just a rake
A fun lovin’ happy lad.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

The dress was smeared
The blouse was too
I’ll be a happy man
If Monica says I do.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

If you wanna have sex with me
I’d like to do it too
And if you want to tell a lie
I’ll just go and pardon you.

Every night I think Ken Starr’s heard too much
Why must I be a President in love!?!

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