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Lorena Bobbit virus:
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Tim Allen virus:
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

Woody Allen virus:
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus:
Won’t let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus:
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

George Michael virus:
Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup

Joey Buttafuoco virus:
Only attacks minor files. Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

A man walking down the beach sees an old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed-off genie emerges. She says, “normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son-of-a-@#*%, I am going to grant only 1.”
The man thinks a minute and says, “Okay, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.” She says, “So be it!”, and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, the guy wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance.

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Q: What’s the difference between Bob Barker and Lorena Bobbit?

A: One is a slick pricer and the other is a prick slicer.

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Q: What’s the difference between Bob Barker and Lorena Bobbit?

A: One is a slick pricer and the other is a prick slicer.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

A man walking down the beach sees an old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed-off genie emerges. She says, “normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son-of-a-@#*%, I am going to grant only 1.”
The man thinks a minute and says, “Okay, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.” She says, “So be it!”, and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, the guy wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance.

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