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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.

If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.

If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both cows.

If a Capitalist has two cows, he sells one and buys a bull.

If a New dealist has two cows, he kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk.

If a Liberalist has two cows, he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.

If a Conservatist has two cows, he locks them up and charges people to look at them.

If an Atheist has two cows, he doesn’t believe it.

If a Taoist has two cows, he lets them wander off.

If a Platonist has two cows, he looks for two others to milk.

If a Aristocrat has two cows, he sells them and buys one big one.

If a Pacifist has two cows, they stampede him.

If a government worker has two cows, he can’t sell them, fire them, or even label them as cows.

If a Hillary Clinton has two cows, she robs the ranches and gives everyone two cows. If she doesn’t have enough, she gives them bull.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32385)      

A man walking down the beach sees an old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he
picks it up, and a pissed-off genie emerges.
She says, “normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son-of-a-bitch, I am going to grant only 1.”
The man thinks a minute and says, “Okay, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.”
She says, “So be it!”, and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, the guy wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hillary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and
no health insurance.

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Related:  Politics (+3831), Q & A (+15903)      

Q: What does Hillary Clinton have in common with Gerald Ford?

A: They both became president without being elected.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32385)      

Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can’t believe this has happened.
She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming: “How could you have let this happen? With all of the trouble going on right now, you go and get me pregnant!!!
How could you???!!!
I can’t believe this has happened!
I just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!!
How could you???
Well, what have you got to say???”
There is nothing but silence on the phone.
She screams again: “CAN YOU HEAR ME???!!!!
She finally hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice.
In a barely audible whisper he says, “Who is this?”

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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

The ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ franchise has a new Bucket
of Chicken out. It’s called the ‘Hillary Clinton Bucket.’
It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.

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