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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

Why does Hillary Clinton wear high collared blouses?
So you won’t see her Adam’s apple move when Bill talks.

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Related:  Holidays (+1418)      

* Al Gore’s PRESIDENTIAL costume
* Al Gore Disco Fever costume
* Positive Home Pregnancy Test
* Jacko-Lantern
* Marge Schott’s Less Attractive, Slightly More Racist Sister
* Evil British Nanny
* Janet Reno Little French Maid Outfit
* Male Pattern Baldness
* Guy Who Ate Too Much Olestra
* Flaming Tofu Burrito from Hell on a Stick
* President Jesse Helms
* Marv Albert, Warrior Princess
* Mighty Menstruatin’ Power Ranger
* Monica Lewinsky’s butt
* A USED cigar
* 93-year-old Senator Strom Thurmond “dressed” as Tarzan wearing a Medicare badge
* Attorney General Janet Reno dressed as Charles Manson
* Hillary Clinton dressed as Madonna dressed as Evita
* Pat Buchanan dressed as Detective Mark Fuhrman
* Positive Home Pregnancy Test
* Representative Newt Gingrich dressed as Dr. Kevorkian
* Senator Ted “Chappaquiddick” Kennedy dressed as a taxi driver
* Vice President Al Gore dressed as Tipper Gore

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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

These future bestsellers will not only be popular to the stupid, but they will also save trees. When they come out, you can expect each of them to take up no more than half of a page.

1. Attractive leaders of the Feminist Movement
2. Clinton Policies that actually save money
3. The Logic of the Politically Correct
4. History of the Countries where Socialism worked
5. Good Points of Clinton’s Health Program
6. Nazi-Feminists that Makes Sense
7. “The Submissive Woman” by Hillary Clinton.
8. Creating New Jobs in America – by Bill Clinton
9. “Life During Wartime” by Bill Clinton.
10. Avoiding the Tax and Spend Government – by Slick Willy
11. “Why People are More Important than Animals” – Greenpeace
12. “Deep-Thinking Liberals”
13. “The Contribution of Political Correctness to Free Speech”
14. “Why Political Correctness is not Censorship”
15. “The Merits of Gun Control”
16. “Feminists Worth Marrying”
17. “How Mass Unemployment Helps the Economy” by Socialists.
18. “To Tell the Truth” – by President Bill Clinton
19. Unshakeable Principles I Live By – by Bill Clinton
20. The Golden Voice of Roger Clinton
21. Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill

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Related:  Politics (+3831), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?

A: They were both dating the same girl in high school.

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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

Take this little quiz and find out!

1) What is your personal income level? Is it:

- Too much!
- Not enough money, but any more would make me evil.
- Whatever the government lets me keep.
- Money is a tool of the capitalistic overclass which etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
- I have no income. I’ve rejected money and illegally inhabit a national park.

2) Describe your family:

- I’m married with three kids. Oh, and a live-in transsexual who joins us in our orgies.
- The rules of the commune prohibit disclosing personal information.
- I don’t believe in families.
- I don’t believe in the word “describe.”

3) What is the most politically incorrect thing about Scooby Doo?

- Daphne never does anything but stand around and look pretty.
- Scooby was never referred to as a Canine-American.
- Velma is such a lesbian stereotype.
- Shaggy never shares his marijuana.
- “Scooby Snack” reward system encourages mass consumption.
- Criminals are actually put in prison.

4) There’s this weird drunk hanging out in front of your home. Do you:

- Give him two bucks and think highly of yourself.
- Direct him to a government agency that will help him.
- Start a government agency that will help him.
- Respect his personal choice.
- Give Senator Kennedy a ride home.

5) I’m against school vouchers because…

- Bad teachers need jobs too!
- The NEA is against it and a labor union certainly wouldn’t do anything in its own interest.
- A monopoly always yields better results than competition.

6) Bill Clinton’s Welfare Reform Policy is:

- A document with “GOP” scribbled out & “Bill’s” written in with a fat purple magic marker.
- “It’s a trap that discourages work & rewards illegitimacy and we’re keeping it.”
- What would you like it to be?
- What time is it?

7) Bill Clinton’s Official Drug Policy is:

- Whatever the Republicans are currently working on.
- A new poster: “Don’t Be A Shaggy; Share Your Drugs!”
- White House aides using drugs won’t be allowed to work unless they’re Democrats.
- “Just say no to inhaling!”
- What would you like it to be?
- What time is it?

8) Why do you admire Hillary Clinton?

- Anyone who can make $100K without knowing cattle futures deserves admiring.
- The only dead people I can conjure up are Paul Lynde and Redd Foxx.
- If only I could lie so convincingly!
- Hey! She puts up with Bill! Give her some credit.
- We need more strong, intelligent women in prison.

9) What would Bill Clinton have to do for you to not vote for him?

- Develop a big ugly eyestalk in the middle of his forehead.
- Appear in a remake of “Bedtime for Bonzo.”
- Claim to be “more famous than JFK!”
- Wear a t-shirt showing a bullet-riddled Snoopy.
- Join the Republican party.

10) If Bill and Hillary discovered _________ in Chelsea’s room, they would disown her. ONLY ONE ANSWER IS CORRECT.

- Condoms.
- Marijuana.
- Cocaine.
- A videotape with a note: “It was fun! Here’s a copy–Rob Lowe”
- An antique German lampshade with a registration tattoo on it.
- “The Way Things Oughta Be” by Rush Limbaugh.

11) Al Gore’s dynamic speech pattern makes him an excellent choice for the position of:

- Vice President.
- President.
- Governor.
- Senator.
- Environmental spokesman.
- TalkieToy Robot recorded voice.
- Kindergarten teacher.

12) Bill Clinton strongly believes in:

- Bill Clinton.
- Bill Clinton.
- Bill Clinton.
- Bill Clinton.

13) There is a logical, believable way that missing Whitewater documents showed up in the White House reading room that adjoins Hillary’s office after the administration claimed to have handed over all relevant documents:

- They were being used to line Sock’s box.
- Time-traveling KGB spies plotting to avenge the fall of communism.
- They had been blank sheets of paper until Bill spilled lemon juice on them.
- That rascally David Copperfield again!
- Hillary had them.

SCORING: None. IF you think this is a humor page, you’re a Republican. IF you had a hard time picking the best answer because they’re all so true, you’re a Democrat.

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