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Related:  Celebrity (+963)      

Britney spears was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, Britney shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, Britney turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots Britney spears standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then Britney spears flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

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Related:  Celebrity (+963)      

There’s 4 people on a plane and one is the smartest man in the world, one’s a hippie, ones the president and one is britney spears. the plane is about to crash and there’s only three parachutes so the president says, ” I think i deserve a parachute, afterall, i am the president.” So he takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Next Britney Spears says, ” I think i should use the next parachute afterall, i am britney spears.” so she jumped out of the plane. then there was only the hippie and the smartest man. They were debating who should use the next parachute and the hippie said, “i dont think we have to worry about anything like that, britney spears just jumped out with my backpack. and they jumped out of the plane.

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Related:  Technology (+1816)      

* “Survivor Virus”
Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains.

* Elian Virus
You can’t decide what to do with it, until finally the Janet Reno Virus kicks in your door and deletes it.

* Microsoft Virus
Renders your computer virtually useless. Also known by the name “Windows 2000.”

* Tiger Woods Virus
Beats the holy crap out of you in every computer game you play.

* Wonderbra Virus
Results in overflow stack.

* O.J. Virus
Every time you try to search for a file, it runs “Pro Golf Tour 2000″ instead.

* Britney Spears Virus
Your partitions mysteriously quadruple in size overnight.

* John Rocker Virus
Re-categorizes everything on your computer into a few simple folders that it can understand.

* Boulder Police Virus
Can’t even *find* your computer.

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Related:  Celebrity (+963)      

Britney Spears went to Africa to sing songs from her new album “Britney” including “Imma slave 4 u” a rich white man went up on stage and pulled her off and took her to his house, she asked him “What r u doing? I have a show to do!” he replied “Well you said you were a slave for me, and you know, I can`t pass up an offer where someones throwing themselves at me!”

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Related:  Blonde (+4664), Celebrity (+963)      

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, “I’m going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy.”

Not to be outdone, Britney rips a $1000 bill in half and throws it out the window saying, “Look, I just made two people really happy.”

Not even noticing Britney’s stupid move, Christina brags, “Look, I’m going to throw 1000 $1 bills out the window and make a lot more people a little happier.”

At this point, the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can’t stand it anymore, comes out and says, “I think I’ll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy!”

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