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What do Britney Spears and a computer have in common?

Their both cheap, white, and plastic….

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Don’t let those stuck-up celebrities fool you; the relationship between you and your celebrity heartthrob is “give and take.” Without fans like you, rich and famous celebs like the Backstreet Boys would be fighting over a half-eaten hot dog in a dumpster. They owe you the attention an obsessive-compulsive like you deserves! However, how do you know when your pure adoration for Taylor Hanson crosses over into dangerous obsession? An obsession that can quickly go from kissing Taylor’s pin-up underneath your sheets to a restraining order, followed by 30 days in the hole?

Taking this helpful quiz will let you know if you’ve gone too far – or not far enough!

(1) You spot your heartthrob dreamboat, ex-NKOTB Joey McIntyre, at the Auburn Super Mall. Do you…

(a) Stand there frozen, trembling, and unable to say a word before finally losing control of your bladder right in the middle of the 5-7-9 Shop.
(b) Confidently saunter up and offer to buy Joey a Chik Filet in exchange for an autograph.
(c) Emit a squeal piercing enough to shatter every window in the mall, launch yourself onto Joey’s back, topple him over the counter at Orange Julius, and smother him with kisses before finally being dragged away kicking and screaming by mall security.

(2) When asking Ricky Martin for his autograph, do you say…

(a) “Huh-huh-huh-hi. Umm, ahh, R-rrrricky? Would you… I mean, if I…no, that’s stupid. I know I’m an idiot… wow, as if you didn’t know that already, but c-c-c-could you…. You know what? Never mind. I’ve decided to kill myself instead.”
(b) “Excuse me, Ricky, I hate to interrupt you during your prostate exam, but… (pointing at autograph book) would you mind?”
(c) “Hey, you’re that blond Spanish queer, ain’t ya? All the guys in my cell block think you’re mighty tasty. Could you sign my tit and write, “Always your bitch – Love, Ricky”?

(3) You are Britney Spears’ #1 fan! But when a goth friend calls her “a sell-out Disney whore” who dresses like “a hoochie skank,” do you…

(a) Hit her, baby, one more time.
(b) Say, “Well… that’s your opinion,” before sneaking into her house and pissing on her pentagram.
(c) Write a tearful letter to Britney, informing her how horrible and childish some teenagers can be, and proving your undying love by carving Britney’s name into your thigh.

(4) Omigod. It’s Justin’s b-day! (From ‘N Sync, stupid!) What should I get him?

(a) A tasteful card.
(b) A friendship collage I spent two weeks constructing.
(c) A bouquet of flowers, which I present to him after surprising him in his driveway by jumping off the top of his garage, where I’ve been hiding all night!

(5) While attending a Hanson concert, a sweating, hirsute roadie offers you a backstage pass in exchange for oral gratification. Do you…

(a) Misunderstand what he means and say, “Geez, I already said ‘Thank You!’”
(b) Understand what he means and staunchly refuse! You would never orally gratify anyone but Zac (or maybe Taylor in a pinch).
(c) Happily agree, and imagine it’s Isaac’s long, flowing locks brushing against your face instead of the hair growing from the roadie’s belly.

(6) Your dream has finally come true! After being his biggest fan for 30 years, Davy Jones of the Monkees is about to kiss you! This is the happiest…hold on. You forgot about your active herpes sore! Do you…

(a) Turn your lips discreetly aside, while your heart breaks.
(b) Say, “Sorry, Davy. I got the herp. See you in a week!”
(c) Kiss him, kiss him, over and over again! Now that he has herpes, too, he belongs to you and you alone!

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Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde…yeah right…

1.Who do want to be most like in life:
A.Vanna White
B.Michelle Fiefer
C.Britney Spears
E.None of the Above

2.In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
A.Run when you see the seeker
B.Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
C.Run when the seeker sees you
E.Follow the seeker quietly

3.What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
A.You loose alot of weight
B.Gain weight
C.Get really smart
D.Loose your memory

4.How do you kill a bird:
A.Hit it
B.Throw it off a building
C.Cook it
D.All of the above

5.What’s an important question about pregnancy
A.Is it mine
B.How far along am I
C.Is it a boy or girl
D.What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don’t read them this part:

Results:
1.
A=5pts.
B=3pts.
C=2pts.
D=1pt.

2.
A=4
B=5
C=2
D=3

3.
A=4
B=3
C=5
D=1

4.
A=3
B=5
C=4
D=1

5.
A=5
B=1
C=3
D=2

TOTAL:
20 =Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19=Pretty Dumb; 10-14=Not Bad; 9-Smart for a Blonde

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- MTV actually played videos in the 80′s.

- There was only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (white with a red swoosh), and they didn’t cost $125.

- A comb in your back pocket is more practical and less painful than a ring through your nose.

- In the 80′s, playing video games actually meant going out to DO something.

- In the 80′s, when you were out partying, you didn’t have to worry about your Mom calling you on your cell phone.

- In the 80s, we didn’t have to worry about getting our heads blown off at school – unless you put a whole pack of Pop Rocks in your mouth and drank a coke.

- Debbie Gibson vs. Britney Spears. New Kids on the Block vs. N’Sync. New Edition vs. Hanson. Ok, that one’s a draw.

- In the early 80′s, there were kids in your high school who could buy alcohol LEGALLY.

- Feathered hair was easier to care for than dreadlocks.

- In the 80′s, you didn’t have to worry about your pants falling down all the time. They were so tight we couldn’t get them off!

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde…yeah right…
1.Who do want to be most like in life: A.Vanna White B.Michelle Fiefer C.Britney Spears E.None of the Above
2.In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you: A.Run when you see the seeker B.Stay hiding until the seeker finds you C.Run when the seeker sees you E.Follow the seeker quietly
3.What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease A.You loose alot of weight B.Gain weight C.Get really smart D.Loose your memory
4.How do you kill a bird: A.Hit it B.Throw it off a building C.Cook it D.All of the above
5.What’s an important question about pregnancy A.Is it mine B.How far along am I C.Is it a boy or girl D.What hospital should I go to for delivery
Don’t read them this part:
Results:
1.
A=5pts. B=3pts. C=2pts. D=1pt.
2.
A=4 B=5 C=2 D=3
3.
A=4 B=3 C=5 D=1
4.
A=3 B=5 C=4 D=1
5.
A=5 B=1 C=3 D=2
TOTAL: 20 =Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19=Pretty Dumb; 10-14=Not Bad; 9-Smart for a Blonde

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