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Don’t let those stuck-up celebrities fool you; the relationship between you and your celebrity heartthrob is “give and take.” Without fans like you, rich and famous celebs like the Backstreet Boys would be fighting over a half-eaten hot dog in a dumpster. They owe you the attention an obsessive-compulsive like you deserves! However, how do you know when your pure adoration for Taylor Hanson crosses over into dangerous obsession? An obsession that can quickly go from kissing Taylor’s pin-up underneath your sheets to a restraining order, followed by 30 days in the hole?

Taking this helpful quiz will let you know if you’ve gone too far – or not far enough!

(1) You spot your heartthrob dreamboat, ex-NKOTB Joey McIntyre, at the Auburn Super Mall. Do you…

(a) Stand there frozen, trembling, and unable to say a word before finally losing control of your bladder right in the middle of the 5-7-9 Shop.
(b) Confidently saunter up and offer to buy Joey a Chik Filet in exchange for an autograph.
(c) Emit a squeal piercing enough to shatter every window in the mall, launch yourself onto Joey’s back, topple him over the counter at Orange Julius, and smother him with kisses before finally being dragged away kicking and screaming by mall security.

(2) When asking Ricky Martin for his autograph, do you say…

(a) “Huh-huh-huh-hi. Umm, ahh, R-rrrricky? Would you… I mean, if I…no, that’s stupid. I know I’m an idiot… wow, as if you didn’t know that already, but c-c-c-could you…. You know what? Never mind. I’ve decided to kill myself instead.”
(b) “Excuse me, Ricky, I hate to interrupt you during your prostate exam, but… (pointing at autograph book) would you mind?”
(c) “Hey, you’re that blond Spanish queer, ain’t ya? All the guys in my cell block think you’re mighty tasty. Could you sign my tit and write, “Always your bitch – Love, Ricky”?

(3) You are Britney Spears’ #1 fan! But when a goth friend calls her “a sell-out Disney whore” who dresses like “a hoochie skank,” do you…

(a) Hit her, baby, one more time.
(b) Say, “Well… that’s your opinion,” before sneaking into her house and pissing on her pentagram.
(c) Write a tearful letter to Britney, informing her how horrible and childish some teenagers can be, and proving your undying love by carving Britney’s name into your thigh.

(4) Omigod. It’s Justin’s b-day! (From ‘N Sync, stupid!) What should I get him?

(a) A tasteful card.
(b) A friendship collage I spent two weeks constructing.
(c) A bouquet of flowers, which I present to him after surprising him in his driveway by jumping off the top of his garage, where I’ve been hiding all night!

(5) While attending a Hanson concert, a sweating, hirsute roadie offers you a backstage pass in exchange for oral gratification. Do you…

(a) Misunderstand what he means and say, “Geez, I already said ‘Thank You!'”
(b) Understand what he means and staunchly refuse! You would never orally gratify anyone but Zac (or maybe Taylor in a pinch).
(c) Happily agree, and imagine it’s Isaac’s long, flowing locks brushing against your face instead of the hair growing from the roadie’s belly.

(6) Your dream has finally come true! After being his biggest fan for 30 years, Davy Jones of the Monkees is about to kiss you! This is the happiest…hold on. You forgot about your active herpes sore! Do you…

(a) Turn your lips discreetly aside, while your heart breaks.
(b) Say, “Sorry, Davy. I got the herp. See you in a week!”
(c) Kiss him, kiss him, over and over again! Now that he has herpes, too, he belongs to you and you alone!

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Related:  Blonde (+4656), Celebrity (+957)      

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, “I’m going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy.”

Not to be outdone, Britney rips a $1000 bill in half and throws it out the window saying, “Look, I just made two people really happy.”

Not even noticing Britney’s stupid move, Christina brags, “Look, I’m going to throw 1000 $1 bills out the window and make a lot more people a little happier.”

At this point, the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can’t stand it anymore, comes out and says, “I think I’ll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy!”

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Related:  Celebrity (+957)      

There’s 4 people on a plane and one is the smartest man in the world, one’s a hippie, ones the president and one is britney spears. the plane is about to crash and there’s only three parachutes so the president says, ” I think i deserve a parachute, afterall, i am the president.” So he takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Next Britney Spears says, ” I think i should use the next parachute afterall, i am britney spears.” so she jumped out of the plane. then there was only the hippie and the smartest man. They were debating who should use the next parachute and the hippie said, “i dont think we have to worry about anything like that, britney spears just jumped out with my backpack. and they jumped out of the plane.

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– MTV actually played videos in the 80’s.

– There was only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (white with a red swoosh), and they didn’t cost $125.

– A comb in your back pocket is more practical and less painful than a ring through your nose.

– In the 80’s, playing video games actually meant going out to DO something.

– In the 80’s, when you were out partying, you didn’t have to worry about your Mom calling you on your cell phone.

– In the 80s, we didn’t have to worry about getting our heads blown off at school – unless you put a whole pack of Pop Rocks in your mouth and drank a coke.

– Debbie Gibson vs. Britney Spears. New Kids on the Block vs. N’Sync. New Edition vs. Hanson. Ok, that one’s a draw.

– In the early 80’s, there were kids in your high school who could buy alcohol LEGALLY.

– Feathered hair was easier to care for than dreadlocks.

– In the 80’s, you didn’t have to worry about your pants falling down all the time. They were so tight we couldn’t get them off!

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Related:  Celebrity (+957)      

Eva Langoria, Britney Spears and a Carmen Electra were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. Carmen went first. ‘I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!’ ‘Okay,’ replied the genie. And off she went. Then Eva Langoria went. ‘I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!’ And off she went. Britney started crying and said, ‘I wish my friends were back here!’

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