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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

Several politicians had a meeting with the Wizard of Oz…
First, Newt Gingrich went to see the Wizard and said, “Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart”.
So the Wiz said,”So be it”.
Second was Al Gore. He said to the Wiz, “People think I’m unintelligent and have no common sense what so ever…I wish to have a Brain”.
The Wiz said, “So be it”.
Third was Bob Dole. “People say I have no confidence and I lack conviction… ..I wish to have some Courage”.
And the Wiz said, “So be it”.
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard.
The Wizard looked at him, and said, “Well, what do you want?”
To which Clinton replied, “I’m here for Dorothy!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32388)      

21. None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.

20. Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.

19. Your “Do you smell something burning?” slays ’em, year after year.

18. Plenty of legal help available for filing “wrongful death” lawsuit.

17. Newly passed law: Three strikes and you’re back in LA.

16. Satan’s confused attempts to torture masochists can be highly entertaining.

15. No need to pack the parka over Bob Dole’s election chances.

14. Well, sure, it’s hot, but it’s a *dry* heat.

13. Free prostate checks and PAP smears administered daily!

12. The surprisingly entertaining “Hitler and Kathie Lee Show.”

11. Every Thursday is Karaoke Night, hosted by Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr.

10. Prizes awarded for best crank phone calls to God.

9. Everywhere you look, there’s a smoking section!

8. Big step up from Bakersfield.

7. Your little “blue flame” trick now produces spectacular results.

6. Free Microsoft software for everyone (as per agreement made back in early 80’s).

5. Now that you’ve followed her advice, you just might get that date with Cindy Crawford.

4. 52 smmmmmokin’ channels of Jim Carrey!

3. Saturday night WWF tag-team bout between Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler, and Hitler.

2. Everyone gets a length of pipe and a daily crack at Nancy Kerrigan’s knee.

1. Fortune to be made on “Welcome, O.J.” T-shirts.

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

During the Republican primaries, George W. Bush spent his campaign money at a rate of $200,000 a day and broke Bob Dole’s record for most money spent on an entire presidential campaign. He’s spending money so fast, a national organization of scorned women has made him an honorary ex-wife.

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Related:  Politics (+3830), Q & A (+15905)      

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

A: They were both upset when Bill finished first

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Related:  Politics (+3830), Q & A (+15905)      

Q: What did Bob Dole reply when asked if he preferred boxers or briefs?

A: “Depends.”

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