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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

The Top 16 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy

16. To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
15. New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out at midnight run to McDonald’s.
14. At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”
13. President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.
12. “Bitch” label now somewhat ambiguous.
11. Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
10. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
9. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading: “Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!”
8. Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.
7. Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List.
6. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.
5. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
4. Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.
3. To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
2. “Get that horny furball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President. The Number 1 Change at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy…
1. Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.

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Related:  Lists (+736)      

1. The Book Of Virtues By Bill Clinton

2. The Amish Phone Directory

3. Mike Tyson’s Guide To Dating Etiquette

4. George Foreman’s Big Book Of Baby Names

5. French Hospitality

6. Everything Women Know About Men

7. Everything Men Know About Women

8. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection Of Motivational Speeches

9. Different Ways To Spell Bob

10. Career Opportunities For Liberal Arts Majors

11. America’s Most Popular Lawyers

12. Amelia Earhart’s Guide To The Pacific Ocean

13. The Wild Years-By Al Gore

14. Things I Would Not Do For Money-By Dennis Rodman

15. Human Rights Advances In China

16. To All The Men I’ve Loved Before-By Ellen Degeneres

17. The Engineer’s Guide To Fashion

18. My Plan To Find The Real Killers-By O. J. Simpson

19. How To Land A Plane At Martha’s Vineyard – By Jfk, Jr.

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Related:  Politics (+3831), Q & A (+15911)      

Q: What’s the difference between Al Gore and Socialism?
A: He uses the phrase Social Entitlements instead.

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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

FLYIN’ D.N.A.

I got all excited, made a giant mess,
It was my misfortune, it landed on her dress.
Man I thought I was careful, and pointed far away,
But she caught a dressful of Flyin’ D.N.A,

She was so damn playful, such a little tease,
I used to laugh at the rug burn, on her chubby knees.
She tried her best to escape it, but couldn’t get away,
I bit my lip and fired, Flyin’ D.N.A.,

I thought it was our secret, but she let it slip,
Monica went blabbin’, right to Linda Tripp.
She taped it on her recorder, and she just pressed play,
And the world got an earful, of Flyin’ D.N.A.,

When the dress gets tested, by the F.B.I.,
My only option is to just deny.
But before you impeach me, here’s what’s in store,
Your new El’ Presedente’, will be that putz Al Gore.

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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and says, “What’s in the box kid?” to which the little boy says, “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”

Al Gore laughs and says, “What kind of kittens are they?”

“Democrats,” the child says.

“Oh that’s cute,” Al Gore says and he runs off.

A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.

Al Gore says to Bill, “You gotta check this out,” and they both jog over to the boy with the box.

Al Gore says, “Look in the box Bill, isn’t that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are.”

The boy replies, “They’re Republicans.”

“Whoa!” Al Gore says, “I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What’s up?”

“Well,” the kid says, “Their eyes are open now.”

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