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Related:  Politics (+3827)      

Bill Clinton dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St.Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Bill replies, “I am Bill Clinton, and I was president of the United States!” St. Peter says, “Ok, I will take you to meet the Lord.” So they go to meet the Lord, who says “Who are you and what have you done?” Clinton replies, “I am Bill Clinton and I was president of the U.S.A.!” The Lord then says, “Come Bill, sit on my right hand.” Clinton then sits down to the right of the Lord, extremely happy.
Al Gore then dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Al replies much the same as Bill did, stating that he is Al Gore and was Vice-president of the US. St. Peter then takes him to meet the Lord, who offers Al the seat on his left side. Al accepts, and like Clinton, is ecstatic.
After a while, Hillary dies and gets to the gates. St. Peter asks who she is and what she did, to which she replies, “Hillary Rodham Clinton, wife of the president of the US.” Peter then takes her in to meet the Lord who repeats the question, “Who are you and what have you done?” Hillary replies, “I am Hillary Rodham Clinton, and you are in my seat!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

Doctor Seuss’s take on the 2004 election:
Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out. I will not let this vote count stand. I do not like them, AL GORE I am!
Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean, Dubya has won? This is not fair, this is not fun.
Let’s count them upside down this time. Let’s count until the state is mine. I will not let this vote count stand. I do not like it, AL GORE I am!
I’m really ticked, I’m in a snit. You have not heard the last of it. I’ll count the ballots one by one. And hold each one up to the sun.
I’ll count, recount, and count some more. You’ll grow to hate this little chore. But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand. I do not like it, Al Gore I am!
I won’t leave office, I’m stayin’ here. I’ve glued my desk chair to my rear. Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba, too, all telling me that I should sue.
We find the Electoral College vile. Re-count the votes until I smile. We do not want this vote to stand. We do not like it, AL GORE I am!

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Related:  Halloween (+1180)      

* Al Gore’s PRESIDENTIAL costume
* Al Gore Disco Fever costume
* Positive Home Pregnancy Test
* Jacko-Lantern
* Marge Schott’s Less Attractive, Slightly More Racist Sister
* Evil British Nanny
* Janet Reno Little French Maid Outfit
* Male Pattern Baldness
* Guy Who Ate Too Much Olestra
* Flaming Tofu Burrito from Hell on a Stick
* President Jesse Helms
* Marv Albert, Warrior Princess
* Mighty Menstruatin’ Power Ranger
* Monica Lewinsky’s butt
* A USED cigar
* 93-year-old Senator Strom Thurmond “dressed” as Tarzan wearing a Medicare badge
* Attorney General Janet Reno dressed as Charles Manson
* Hillary Clinton dressed as Madonna dressed as Evita
* Pat Buchanan dressed as Detective Mark Fuhrman
* Positive Home Pregnancy Test
* Representative Newt Gingrich dressed as Dr. Kevorkian
* Senator Ted “Chappaquiddick” Kennedy dressed as a taxi driver
* Vice President Al Gore dressed as Tipper Gore

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Related:  Politics (+3827)      

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.

Bill: “Why don’t I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy.”

Hillary: “Well, why don’t you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy.”

Al: “Why don’t you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy.”

Tipper: “Why don’t we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy.”

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Related:  Politics (+3827), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He’s the stiff one.

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