Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100252 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Politics (+3832), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: What’s the difference between Al Gore and Socialism?
A: He uses the phrase Social Entitlements instead.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Politics (+3832)      

FLYIN’ D.N.A.

I got all excited, made a giant mess,
It was my misfortune, it landed on her dress.
Man I thought I was careful, and pointed far away,
But she caught a dressful of Flyin’ D.N.A,

She was so damn playful, such a little tease,
I used to laugh at the rug burn, on her chubby knees.
She tried her best to escape it, but couldn’t get away,
I bit my lip and fired, Flyin’ D.N.A.,

I thought it was our secret, but she let it slip,
Monica went blabbin’, right to Linda Tripp.
She taped it on her recorder, and she just pressed play,
And the world got an earful, of Flyin’ D.N.A.,

When the dress gets tested, by the F.B.I.,
My only option is to just deny.
But before you impeach me, here’s what’s in store,
Your new El’ Presedente’, will be that putz Al Gore.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Politics (+3832)      

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and says, “What’s in the box kid?” to which the little boy says, “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”

Al Gore laughs and says, “What kind of kittens are they?”

“Democrats,” the child says.

“Oh that’s cute,” Al Gore says and he runs off.

A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.

Al Gore says to Bill, “You gotta check this out,” and they both jog over to the boy with the box.

Al Gore says, “Look in the box Bill, isn’t that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are.”

The boy replies, “They’re Republicans.”

“Whoa!” Al Gore says, “I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What’s up?”

“Well,” the kid says, “Their eyes are open now.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Politics (+3832)      

Al Gore went down to Florida
He was lookin’ for an election to steal.
He was in a bind, cause he was way behind,
And he was willin’ to cut a deal.

When he came across a Gov’ner
Knawin’ on a victory and chewin’ hard
Veep Gore jumped up on a hickory stump and said,
“Gov, let me tell you what…”

“I bet you didn’t know it but I’m a contender in
Florida too, and if you care to take a dare, I’ll make
a bet with you. Now you ran a good campaign down here,
but give Al Gore his due. I’ll bet a nation of gold
and the white house it holds, that I got more votes than you!”

The gov’ner said, “My names Dubya and it might be a sin….
But I’ll take that bet, your gonna regret, cause this
Texan always wins.”

(Chorus)

Dubya rally up your troops and fight for that vote hard.
Cause Al Gores loose in Florida and Bill Daley holds the cards.
If you win you get that shiny nation, made of gold,
but if you lose, then Al Gore gets con-trol.

Al Gore opened up his mouth and said, “I’ll start this show”
And fire burned in the eyes of lawyers, who knew they’d make some
dough. And he pulled his hand across his lips, and he made an evil grin.
Then in walked all the Palm Beach voters, Dubya’s chances were lookin’ thin.

(Guitar/bass solo)

When Al Gore finished, Dubya said… “Well, your
pretty good ol’ son Now plant your but in that chair
right there and let me show you how it’s done!”

(Chorus II)

Dems in the orange groves, Run George, Run.
You can’t lose now in the land of the sun.
Your dads on your side and your brothers’ in tow,

Gore in the White House, God, Please NO!

(Fast Fiddle/Guitar solo)

Al Gore bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
He conceded that golden nation on the Ground at Dubya’s feet.
Dubya said, “Gore, just come on back if ya ever wanna
try again, cause I told you once you tree huggin’ dunce, this Texan always wins!”

Al Gore went down to Florida
He was lookin’ for an election to steal.
He was in a bind, cause he was way behind,
And he was willin’ to cut a deal.

When he came across a Gov’ner
Knawin’ on a victory and chewin’ hard
Veep Gore jumped up on a hickory stump and said,
“Gov, let me tell you what…”

“I bet you didn’t know it but I’m a contender in
Florida too, and if you care to take a dare, I’ll make
a bet with you. Now you ran a good campaign down here,
but give Al Gore his due. I’ll bet a nation of gold
and the white house it holds, that I got more votes than you!”

The gov’ner said, “My names Dubya and it might be a sin….
But I’ll take that bet, your gonna regret, cause this Texan always wins”

(Chorus)

Dubya rally up your troops and fight for that vote hard.
Cause Al Gores loose in Florida and Bill Daley holds the cards.
If you win you get that shiny nation, made of gold,
but if you lose, then Al Gore gets con-trol.

Al Gore opened up his mouth and said, “I’ll start this show”
And fire burned in the eyes of lawyers, who knew they’d make some dough.
And he pulled his hand across his lips, and he made an evil grin.
Then in walked all the Palm Beach voters, Dubya’s chances were lookin’ thin.

(Guitar/bass solo)

When Al Gore finished, Dubya said… “Well, your
pretty good ol’ son Now plant your but in that chair
right there and let me show you how it’s done!”

(Chorus II)

Dems in the orange groves, Run George, Run.
You can’t lose now in the land of the sun.
Your dads on your side and your brothers’ in tow,
Gore in the White House, God, Please NO!

(Fast Fiddle/Guitar solo)

Al Gore bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
He conceded that golden nation on the Ground at Dubya’s feet.
Dubya said, “Gore, just come on back if ya ever wanna
try again, cause I told you once you tree huggin’
dunce, this Texan always wins!”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Politics (+3832)      

The Top 16 Changes at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy

16. To avoid confusion, staff reverts back to referring to Madelaine Albright by name.
15. New “doggy door” makes it that much easier to sneak out at midnight run to McDonald’s.
14. At long last, Bill won’t have to flinch *every* time he hears “Bad boy.”
13. President no longer the only one accused of burying his bone in someone else’s yard.
12. “Bitch” label now somewhat ambiguous.
11. Accusations of crotch-sniffing at the White House no longer automatically implicate the President.
10. New, unwelcome presents under the Christmas tree.
9. Obviously miffed Socks slips Kenneth Starr a note reading: “Bil kilt Vyns Fosdr!”
8. Shouts of “Come!” from Lincoln bedroom no longer make Hillary suspicious.
7. Chelsea drops to #2 on the White House Pug-Ugly List.
6. Pipe and slipper retrieval removed from Al Gore’s daily to-do list.
5. Roger Clinton no longer the only one to piddle in the Rose Garden.
4. Cries of “What a dog!” no longer make Janet Reno burst into tears at State dinners.
3. To the embarrassment of the trainers, dog still unable to tell Al Gore from a tree.
2. “Get that horny furball off my leg!” no longer refers exclusively to the President. The Number 1 Change at the White House Now That the Clintons have a Puppy…
1. Campaign donors staying overnight in the Lincoln Bedroom now find complimentary Tootsie Rolls on their pillows.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com