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FLYIN’ D.N.A.

I got all excited, made a giant mess,
It was my misfortune, it landed on her dress.
Man I thought I was careful, and pointed far away,
But she caught a dressful of Flyin’ D.N.A,

She was so damn playful, such a little tease,
I used to laugh at the rug burn, on her chubby knees.
She tried her best to escape it, but couldn’t get away,
I bit my lip and fired, Flyin’ D.N.A.,

I thought it was our secret, but she let it slip,
Monica went blabbin’, right to Linda Tripp.
She taped it on her recorder, and she just pressed play,
And the world got an earful, of Flyin’ D.N.A.,

When the dress gets tested, by the F.B.I.,
My only option is to just deny.
But before you impeach me, here’s what’s in store,
Your new El’ Presedente’, will be that putz Al Gore.

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

With the upcoming 2000 elections there has been a lot of confusion over the players crucial to the next election. So I’ve found a way to simplify this topic very well.

This is all the Wizard of Oz. Dan Quayle is the scarecrow who needs a brain. Al Gore is the tinman. Colin Powell is the cowardly lion who never manages to run for office. Elizabeth Dole is Dorothy who doesn’t know where she is and not quite sure where she’s going.

And of course we have to mention Clinton because he’s a factor while all this is going on. Clinton is of course Toto, because throughout all this he’s trying to get up into Dorothy’s skirt.

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

Documents released by the White House show that the Democratic National Committee asked Al Gore to make 140 calls to campaign donors, but he only connected on 56 of them. The other 84 hung up because he sounds just like a dial tone.

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Related:  Politics (+3830), Q & A (+15906)      

Q: How does Al Gore get to sleep?

A: He counts ballot papers.

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Related:  Technology (+1814)      

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, Dear?”

Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between, to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success! Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new prosperity and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed he did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’s drumheads and drumsticks.

Seeing it, Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others, and I fear that Job’s son Stephen will not be able to pull our fat out of the fire as he did of yore with his fruit of the apple tree.”

As Abraham paddled his way across the water on his log, he looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known “eBay” and said, “We need a name that reflects what we are!”

Dot replied, “Do not worry yourself, my husband. Just log on. We will call our name, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner-Operators.”

“YAHOO!” said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. It wasn’t Al Gore after all!

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