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Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, “I’ve got another dress for you to clean.”

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, “Come again?”

“No,” says Monica. “Mustard.”

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Related:  Animals (+5195)      

A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground.
“That’s strange,” said the fox. “Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree.”
“Listen, bud,” replied the boy squirrel. “Did you ever try to climb a tree when you were in love?”

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Related:  HR (+462)      

If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?

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Related:  Halloween (+1179)      

One dark night two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemeteryjust for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

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Related:  Ethnic (+694)      

Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be?
A. The least hairy of the three.

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