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Related:  Women (+410)      

Yesterday scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed eight pints of beer each within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men:

1. Gained weight
2. Talked excessively without making sense
3. Became overly emotional
4. Couldn’t drive
5. Failed to think rationally
6. Argued over nothing
7. Had to sit down while urinating
8. And refused to apologize when obviously wrong

No further testing was considered necessary.

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Related:  Blonde (+4664), Brunette (+87)      

There was a blonde and a brunette in a car. The brunette hears a siren behind them, so she asks the blonde if its lights are on. The blonde turns around and says “yes, no, yes, no…..”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
Both look stupid in hats. Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting. Both tend to have “hip” problems. Neither understand football. Both are good at pretending that they’re listening to every word you say. Neither believe that silence is golden. Both constantly want back rubs. Neither can balance a checkbook. You can never tell what either of them is thinking. Both put too much value on kissing. ***** HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS ***** It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman. Women look good in sweaters.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

Q: What is the difference between a single 40-year-old
woman and a single 40-year-old man? A: The 40-year-old woman thinks
often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

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Related:  Christmas (+1017)      

1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

2. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

3. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

4. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

5. I know when you’ve been bad or good … so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

6. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

7. Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)

8. I see you when you’re sleeping … and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?

9. Screw the “nice” list — I’ve got you on my “naughty” list!

10. Wanna join the “Mile High” club?

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