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Related:  Holidays (+1418)      

Q: Why did the ghost cross the road?
A: To get to “THE OTHER SIDE.”

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Related:  Arizona (+117)      

A man went camping in Northern Arizona, as he had many times before. But he noticed something different this time when he began fishing. There were no bites on his line at all. He headed over to the local market to get some new bait, and the shopkeeper gave him some advice.

“Don’t even bother buying any bait,” said the shopkeeper

“Why’s that?” questioned the man.

“There ain’t no fish ’round here no more. We had a freak flood come through and wipe them all out.”

“But how would a flood wipe out the fish?” wondered the man.

“There ain’t never been no water ’round Arizona

The State of Arizona comprises the extreme south-western portion of the United States. It is bounded on the north by Utah, on the east by New Mexico, on the south by Mexico, and on the west by California and Nevada, so the fish never learned to swim.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat
down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked,
“Going to a party?”
“Yeah,” the man answered, “I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.”
“But you look like Abe Lincoln,” protested the barkeep.
“That’s right. My last four scores were seven years ago.”

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Related:  Jewish (+6995)      

Doctor Simon is known throughout London as one of the best consultants on arthritis. He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment. One day, Hetty, an elderly lady, slowly struggles into his waiting room. She is completely bent over and leans heavily on her walking stick. A chair is found for her. Eventually, her turn comes to go into Doctor Simon’s office.
15 minutes later, to everyone’s surprise, she comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. She is holding her head high and has a smile on her face. A woman in the waiting room says to Hetty, “Its unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Simon do to you?”
“Miracle, shmiracle,” says Hetty, “he just gave me a longer walking stick.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?

A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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