Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Little Johnny (+648)      

A Teacher asks her class to use the word “contagious.” Roland the class swot, gets up and says, “Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious.”

“Well done, Roland,” says the teacher. “Can anyone else try?”

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, “My grandma says there’s a bug going round, and it’s contagious.”

“Well done, Katie” says the teacher. “Anyone else?”

Little Irish Johnny jumps up and says, “Our next door neighbor is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Kids (+2427), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: Who succeeded the first President of the USA?

A: The second one!

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They
were in bed
getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said I
should tell you I have
acute angina The old man says I hope so, you sure don’t have cute
tits.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Travel (+293)      

* The “road hog” in front of you on Main Street is a farmer’s combine.

* The local phone book has only one yellow page.

* Third Street is on the edge of town.

* You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it’s still there, on the same chair.

* You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you’re going, anyway.

* No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

* You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

* Everyone knows all the news before it’s published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.

* The city limits signs are both on the same post!

* The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.

* The McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.

* The 7-11 is a 3 1/2 – 5 1/2.

* The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.

* The phone book has only one page.

* There’s nothing doing every minute.

* The ZIP code is a fraction.

* Second Street is in the next town over.

* There’s no place to go that you shouldn’t.

* A “Night on the Town” takes only 11 minutes.

* The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog.

* The New Year’s baby was born in October.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Animals (+5185)      

A farmer comes home with a lively young bull. His two old bulls have fallen on sad days. He’s letting them hang around for old times’ sake. The minute the new bull is put into the pasture, he starts servicing the cows. At about the fourth cow, one of the old bulls starts to paw the ground and snort.
The other asks, “Why are you doing that?”
The old bull answers, “I don’t want him to think I’m one of these cows!”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com