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What’s the difference between a mans paycheck and his dick?
He can always find a girl to blow his paycheck!

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The way to a man’s heart is through his feet
(but you need a long knife).

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Related:  Financial (+1216)      

If you put two investors in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is a pump and dumper, in which case you get three opinions.

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Related:  Ethnic (+694)      

“Listen, God is everywhere, trust me, he is absolutely everywhere,” the wise old Sicilian priest told little Gianluca, who thought about this for a moment, before grabbing a half-opened matchbox lying on the table, quickly snapped it shut and declared triumphantly: “Got him!”

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A man walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges.
She says “normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son of a bitch, I am going to grant only 1”.
He thinks a minute and says – “OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed”.
She says “So be it!”, and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hilary Clinton. He has no penis, a broken leg, and no health insurance!

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