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Related:  Halloween (+1180), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

A: Spelling!

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

The other day I went to the local religious book store,
where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it
and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I
did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the
light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the
Lord, and didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper
sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY
love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and
yelled, “Jesus Christ!” as loud as he could. It was like a
football game with him shouting, “GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!”
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and
waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have
been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him
yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a
funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed,
looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the
Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him
the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black
man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn’t hear
him very well, but it sounded like, “Mother trucker,” or
“Mother’s from there.” Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must
really love the lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in
the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were
walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I
noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a
good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the
intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way
out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian
good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such
wonderful folks.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

MAN: God, my girlfriend is so pretty and has such pretty hair. GOD: I know, I made her that way so you would love her.
MAN: God, she has such beautiful blue eyes. GOD: I know I made them for her so you would love her.
MAN: There is only one thing wrong with her. She is a little dense. GOD: I know..I made her that way so she could love YOU!

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Related:  Sex (+4810)      

Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda
of the old folks
home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa
Rabinowitz rocks forward in
his chair and says to Grandma, “Fuck you!”
Grandma Saperstein rocks forward in her chair and says to Grandpa,
“Fuck you too!”
Grandpa becomes very much excited and shouts, “Fuck you!” swinging
more forward
again.
Grandma remains graceful but leans forward and says, “Fuck you again.”
This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally Grandpa says, “You know
something,
Grandma, this oral sex thing ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

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Related:  Politics (+3832)      

What’s Bill Clinton’s favorite flower?
Tulips.

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