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Related:  Over the Hill (+599)      

At the Senior Citizens’ luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure. They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river and the gentleman asks the lady, “Do you want to go up or down?”

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right in the boat. When finished the man couldn’t believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he’d had in years.

They fished for a while and then continued on down the river when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, “Do you want to go up or down?” There she went again, stripped off and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the old gentleman so he asked her to go fishing again the next day. She said yes and so here they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the river and the gentleman asks, “Well, do you want to go up or down?”

The woman replied, “Down.”

A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asks the lady, “Do you want to go up or down?”

She replied, “Up.”

This really confused the gentleman so he asks, “What’s the deal? Every time yesterday that I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing.”

She replied, “Well, yesterday I didn’t have my hearing aid in and I thought you said ‘fuck or drown’!”

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Related:  Politics (+3832)      

The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton during his morning jog. Fortunately, it was a draft, so he was able to dodge it.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When it comes back there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the Chinaman, “Use more soap on panties.”

This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. Finally the Chinaman responded with, “Use more paper on ass.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

What’s the ideal age to get married?

At 17 25
At 25 35
At 35 48
At 48 66
At 66 17

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.

Shut up. I’m in the bathroom, slide her under the door.

[Alt answer] Shut up and get the maple syrup.

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