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Related:  Blonde (+4657)      

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb, and one of them calls 911…

Blonde: “We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.”

Operator: “Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?”

Blonde: “Yes.”

Operator: “The power in the house in on?”

Blonde: “Of course.”

Operator: “And the switch is on?”

Blonde: “Yes, yes.”

Operator: “And the bulb still won’t light up?”

Blonde: “No, it’s working fine.”

Operator: “Then what’s the problem?”

Blonde: “We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.”

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Related:  Marriage (+787)      

A young lady got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn’t use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery.

As a result, her husband offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had the surgery and was as beautiful after as she was before the surgery.

One night she and her husband were watching TV when she broke down crying.

“What’s the matter?” her husband asked.

She said “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

Her husband hugged her and replied, “Don’t worry about it, I love you, and I’d do anything for you.”

But how will I ever repay you?” she asked.

To which he replied, “You don’t need to repay me… you wouldn’t believe the satisfaction I get every time I see your mom kiss you on the cheek.”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5686), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
A: Say something

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32385)      

Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder

A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws,
and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman
sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently
sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman,
her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open.

The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said,
“Are you okay?” The woman answered, “I’ve been shot in the head, and I
am holding my brains in.”

Linda didn’t know what to do, so she ran into the store, where store
workers called the paramedics. They had to break into the car because
the door was locked. When they got in, they found that the woman had
bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.

A Pillsbury biscuit cannister had exploded, apparently from the heat
in the car, making a loud explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her
in the head. When she reached back to find what it was, she felt the
dough and thought it was her brains. She passed out from fright at
first, then attempted to hold her brains in.

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Related:  Music (+2462)      

Q – How does a guitar player change a light bulb?

A – He lies on the bed so that the room is spinning around it.

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