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Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?”

“Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”

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Related:  Blonde (+4657), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: What did the blond say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
A: Oh! look donut seeds

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Related:  Italian (+655)      

Did you hear about the 21 year old Italian girl who knelt in front of the statue of Madonna?
She said: “You who conceived without sin, let me sin without conceiving!”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5686)      

Get up.
Pass gas.
Drink cup of black coffee.
Pass gas.
Dress, skipping shower because “alarm didn’t work”.
Pass gas.
Log on to computer to check porn site before leaving for work.
Pass gas while “enjoying” favorite site.
Drive to work.
Pass gas at stop light.
Open window to air out car.
Get to work at McDonalds.
Pass gas in bathroom (for all patrons to enjoy).
Forget to wash hands.
Lunch-Double cheesy cheeseburger and supersized fries.
Pass gas.
Arrive home.
Pass gas.
Have a beer.
Pass gas.
Tell wife you want sex.
Belch.
Finish early, belch and fall asleep.
Get up at 3 A.M. waking wife but instead of finishing her off, return to computer to talk in the chat rooms – imagining what a stud you are, chatting with all those “gorgeous women” online.
Pass gas.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32386)      

Nina and Liz are having a conversation during there lunch break. Nina asks, “So, Liz, how’s your sex life these days?” Liz replies, “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.” “Social Security?” Nina asked quizzically. “Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.”

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