Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Men vs. Women (+5690), Q & A (+15906), Sex (+4816)      

Q: What part of a woman does a man like looking at best?

A: The top of her head.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Men vs. Women (+5690)      

Sometime after Bernie died, his widow, Rachel, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful, considerate, and wonderful man her late husband had been.
“My Bernie thought of everything”, she told them. “Just before he died, he called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. ‘Rachel’, he told me. ‘I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am gone, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Knowing you’ll do this, I can rest in peace’.”
“What was in the envelopes?” her friends asked.
“The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, ‘Please use this money to buy a nice casket’. So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.
“The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’. I made Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for when we began shiva”.
“And the third envelope?” asked her friends.
“The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, ‘Please use this to buy a nice stone’.
At that point, Rachel held up her hand and pointed to her ring finger, on which was a gorgeous ten carat diamond ring.
“So?”, said Rachel, “You like my stone?”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to become romantic again.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t fully appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: What we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

How many philosophers of language does it take to change a light bulb?
None–we can’t see the referent through the opacity of the phrase ‘light bulb’.
How many phenomenologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only a couple, but by the time they get through with it, the 100-watt bulb has been reduced to a night light.
How many skeptics does it take to change a light bulb?
Actually, they won’t do it–they have no sense of urgency about the situation–they aren’t sure they’re really in the dark…
How many modal logicians does it take to change a light bulb?
In WHICH world?
How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, why fight it?
How many Anselmists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one is NECESSARY.
How many Aristotelians does it take to change a light bulb?
Exactly four (it’s a causality thing)

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Holidays (+1418)      

Q: Why did the ghost cross the road?
A: To get to “THE OTHER SIDE.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com