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Related:  Animals (+5185)      

It was so cold…
people were waking up the bears and offering them honey popsicles if they’d share their hibernation secrets.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

What does a lesbian think the string on the end of a tampoon is for?

For flossing after eating.

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Related:  Jewish (+6994)      

Hanna’s kosher Christmas

Knock. Knock.
Whos there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree.

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Related:  Kids (+2427)      

When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: “I’ll give you a hint. First it’s in your hand, then it’s in your mouth, and then it’s in your tummy.”
The teacher smiled and said: “OK, Dick, sit down.”

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Related:  Religious (+821)      

A man goes to hell and the devil greets him. He takes him to a hallway which has three different doors and tell the man he’ll have to choose one room to spend the rest of eternity in.
So he takes him to the first door and he opens it and sees everyone standing on their heads on wooden floors. The man thought that would be pretty terrible to spend the rest of eternity on his head on such a hard floor and asked the devil to show him the second door.
Everyone in the second room was standing on their heads on concrete. The man thought that was even worse to spend the rest of eternity on his head on an even harder floor.
Finally the devil takes him to the third door and in that room everyone is up to their knees in dog shit and drinking coffee. The man thought that was pretty bad, but at least they could drink coffee so he told the devil he chose the third room to spend the rest of eternity in. So the man, up to his knees in dog shit, drank coffee for a few minutes. Then the devil came back into the room and said “Coffee break is over. Back on your heads.”

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