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Ideal date

At 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 “Split the check before we go back to my place”
35 “Just come over.”
48 “Just come over and cook.”
66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.

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Related:  Holidays (+1418), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: How is a flag like Santa Claus?

A: They both hang out at the pole!

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Related:  Celebrity (+957)      

Q. What’s the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?

A. Christopher Reeves got the electric chair….and O.J walked!

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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Related:  Animals (+5182), Rabbit (+29)      

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the
fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
“Wow, this is great,” he thought.
It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits,
all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
“Hey,” he called. “I’m a rabbit from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?”
“Yes. Come and join us,” they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good.
“What else do you wild rabbits do?” he asked.
“Well,” one of them said. “You see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.”
This, he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful.
Later, he asked them again, “What else do you do?”
“You see that field there? It’s got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well.”
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. “Is there anything else you guys do?” he asked.
One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.
“There’s one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there,” he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. “They’re
girls. We poke them. Go and try it.”
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over
to the guys.
“That was fantastic,” he panted.
“So are you going to live with us then?” one of them asked.
“I’m sorry, I had a great time but I can’t.”
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. “Why? We thought you liked it here.”
“I do,” our friend replied. “But I must get back to the laboratory. I’m dying for a cigarette.”

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