Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Family (+438)      

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, “Why are some of your hairs white, mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Little Johnny (+648)      

Little Tommy is at the zoo on a school visit and he spots a deer. Being a city kid he’s never seen one before and so he asks his teacher, “What’s that, Miss?”
Miss decides to play a word game with him and says, “That’s what your Daddy calls Mummy, Tommy.”
Tommy thinks for a moment and then says, “I’m not stupid Miss, I know that ain’t a fucking pig!”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32386)      

The Origin of Chapstick
The old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
“Howdy, stranger…”
“Howdy, Sheriff…”
The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don’t shine. He dropped the horse’s tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
“Hold on, Mister…”
“Sheriff?”
“Did I just see what I think I just saw?”
“Reckon you did, Sheriff…I got me some powerful chapped lips…”
“And that cures them?” “Nope, but it keeps me from lickin’ em!

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Politics (+3831)      

Bill and Hillary Clinton are driving in the country near Hillary’s hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill stops at a gas station. The man at the gas station comes out and looks into the window.
“Hey, Hillary! We used to date in high school, do you remember me?” he asks.
They talk merrily for a few minutes. Bill pays, and they leave. As they drive, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary.
“You used to date that guy? Just think what life would be if you hadn’t married me,” he says. Hillary looks at Bill and says to him,
“Well, I guess you’d be pumping gas and he’d be President”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32386)      

1. You have been on-line for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay on-line? Please respond within 10 minutes, or you will be logged off.
2. You have been on-line 135 minutes. Not to put any pressure on you,but there are OTHER people in the world who would like to sign on. Let’s show some consideration for our fellow members and sign off, WHADDYA SAY?
3. You DO realize that you have been on-line for 180 minutes, right? When was the last time you went outside?
4. OK, this is getting ridiculous. Frankly, you’re starting to upset us! If you sign off now, we’ll bring back your buddy list, OK?
5. You have been on-line for 360 minutes now! We promised you unlimited time, we know, but can’t you just finish up and go read a good book?!
6. You have been on-line for 467 minutes. Do you remember your family members names?
7. You have been on-line for 513 minutes. Your spouse has left and your dog is starving. Do you wish to remain on-line?
8. You have been on-line for 724 minutes. Steve Case is coming personally to your house to yank the phone cord!
9. You have been on-line for 852 minutes. Do you KNOW how many hours that is??
10. You have been on-line for 921 minutes. Do you realize that AOL averages 921 complaints per hour about busy phone lines? Do you realize that AOL receives
9.21 lawsuits per day, due to busy phone lines? PLEASE sign-off, to reduce these averages, or go to KEYWORD: Class Action to join a lawsuit.
11. You have been on-line for 967 minutes. When AOL went unlimited, they didn’t think you would take it LITERALLY! So get OFF, before we go broke!
12. You have been on-line for 1013 minutes. This is Steve Case, I need to sign-on myself and answer some mail. Could you PLEASE sign-off?
13. You have been on-line for 1105 minutes. Are you and your family chatting in shifts? GEEZE get off already!
14. You have been on-line 1151 minutes. WELCOME TO THE TEAM… See job application enclosed!

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com