Joke's Database
ijokedb.com for sale, click here for price and more info.
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Animals (+5195), Q & A (+15908)      

Q. What kind of books do owls like?

A. Hoo- dunits.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Men vs. Women (+5688)      

One day a wife asked one of the “no-win” questions to her husband: “What would you do if I died?”

Correct answer: “Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino’s Pizza truck that came my way.”

However, the conversation would go more like this…

“Why, dear, I would be extremely upset,” said the husband. “Why do you ask such a question?”

“Would you remarry?” persevered the wife.

“No, of course not, dear,” said the husband.

“Don’t you like being married?” said the wife.

“Of course I do, dear” he said.

“Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”

“Alright,” said the husband, “I’d remarry.”

“You would?” said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

“Yes” said the husband.

“Would you sleep with her in our bed?” said the wife after a long pause.

“Well yes, I suppose I would.” replied the husband.

“I see,” said the wife indignantly.” And would you let her wear my old clothes?”

“I suppose, if she wanted to” said the husband.

“Really,” said the wife icily. “And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?”

“Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do.”

“Is that so?” said the wife, leaping to her feet. “And I suppose you’d let her play with my golf clubs, too.”

“Of course not, dear,” said the husband. “She is left-handed.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Professional (+1060), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Men vs. Women (+5688)      

A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. “Congratulations,”
said the nurse, “but don’t you think this is enough?” The woman replied,
“Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Bar (+1638)      

This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out.

Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again.

Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing.

About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, “hey, how the hell are you doing that?!”

The first guy responds, “oh, it’s really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk.”

“WOW!” exclaims the second man, “I gotta try that!” So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below.

The bartender looks over to the first man and says, “Superman, you’re an asshole when you’re drunk.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com