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Related:  Light Bulb (+1131), Professional (+1060), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: How does an actor screw in a light bulb?
A: He just holds it, and the world revolves around him.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32382)      

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

“Everyone knows,” the mother lectured him, “that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool.”

“Oh really?” said the lifeguard, “from the diving board!?!?”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32382)      

How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?
Have the fifth one say… BINGO!

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Related:  Animals (+5185)      

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

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Related:  Dog (+336)      

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof…woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘woof’ for the same price.”
The dog replied “What, and ruin the punchline?!”

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