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Related:  Animals (+5186), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: What do you call two skunks doing “69”?

A: Odor eaters.

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Related:  Animals (+5186)      

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
“What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl.

The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.”

They’re just like people, aren’t they Grandma?” said the little one.

“How do you mean?” asked the Grandma.

“Offer someone a helping hand,” said the little girl, “and they fuck you everytime!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32386)      

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”

“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”

When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!”

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Related:  Q & A (+15908), Sex (+4811)      

Q: What does a lesbian think the string on the end of a tampoon is for?
A: For flossing after eating.

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Related:  Women (+411)      

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife, undoubtedly blonde, picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here,” and hung up.

The husband said “Who was that?”

The wife said “I don’t know, some lady wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

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