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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down
next to the grieving widow. “How old was your husband?” he
asked.

“He was ninety-eight,” she answered softly. “Two years oder
than I am.”

“Really?” the undertaker said. “Hardly worth going home,
wouldn’t you say?”

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Related:  Blonde (+4664), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

Safest Way to Drive

Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving
habits, offers the following advice:

The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly
proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one’s
exposure.

One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds
are caused by non-drunk drivers.

Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.

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Related:  School (+377)      

Teacher, I can’t solve this problem.
Any five year old should be able to solve this one.
No wonder I can’t do it then, I’m nearly ten!

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Related:  Easter (+210), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?

A: They lived hoppily ever after!

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