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A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a drawing he was doing with varicolored crayons. His mother finally looked over his shoulder, and, puzzled, asked “Who’s that you’re drawing, son?”
The son answered, “God.”
“Don’t be silly,” reproved the mother. “Nobody knows what God looks like.”
Not even pausing in his task, the son announced calmly, “They will when I’m finished!”

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Related:  Jewish (+6997)      

Joshua worked for “Levine’s Tailors” and was a successful salesman. He was always polite to his customers and as a result was nearly always able to sell a suit to anyone who walked into the shop. So it was a surprise when, after 10 successful years, he resigned to join the police force.
His father couldn’t understand why his son should give up a good job to become a policeman. So at the end of Joshua’s first week, he rang Joshua to ask how he liked his new job.
“Well dad,” Joshua replied, “It’s nice of you to ask. The salary is just about OK, the hours arent as bad as I thought they would be and my colleagues are a great bunch. But what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”

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There was a hooker from Honchu
Who on peckers and penises did chew.
Said a friend, “Why don’t you
Have them stick it to you,
Then you could enjoy the sex too.”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5688), Q & A (+15908), Sex (+4815)      

Q: What’s the best way to make yourself last with your girlfriend?

A: Let everyone go first!

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Related:  America US (+265)      

A farmer in Northern Arizona plowed his fields using only one hourse. Yet as he plowed, he yelled to the horse, “Giddyup, Jack!” “Giddyup, Mick!” “Giddyup, Casey!”

A stranger passing by stopped the farmer. “I couldn’t help overhearing you shout to your horse,” he said, “and I’m curious. How many names does your horse have?”

The farmer laughed good-naturedly and replied, “Oh, his name is Jack.”

Then the farmer’s voice dropped to a conspirational whisper. “But he doesn’t know his own strength. So I put blinders on him and yell all those other names. This way he thinks he has other horses helping him.

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