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A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies
when his toupee slides off. As he’s groping around for it, his hand goes
between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her twat.
She says, “That’s it! That’s it!”
He says, “It can’t be. I part mine on the side.”

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Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.

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Related:  Medical (+1838)      

A QUESTION OF TIMING

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.
The 70 year old man says, “I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee.”

The 80 year old man says, “My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement.”

The 90 year old man says, “At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow.”

“So what’s your problem?” ask the others.

“I don’t wake up until nine!”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5687), Q & A (+15907), Sex (+4810)      

Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

A: She is the one who can eat the last donut!

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A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made.
When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride-to-be said “White”.
The tailor was a bit suprised by this, and said, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can’t help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?”
The woman replied, “I’m sorry to say, but that’s the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look. My third husband was a stamp collector. God, I miss him…”

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