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Pete walks into a store. He says to the salesgirl, “I want to buy some toilet paper.”

She says, “What color?”

He says, “Give me white. I’ll color it myself.”

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Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5686)      

Top Ten Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They’ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody’s home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.

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Related:  Law (+1199), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: Why don’t snakes bite attorneys?
A: Professional courtesy.

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The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierand
was down to two final applicants – one of which would get the job.
The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate
New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then he called for the second man, “Jim Johnson!” Up stepped a
burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
“He looks like he cantake care of any situation,” thought the manager,
and decided, there and then,to hire him. He turned to the first
applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.
Turning to Johnson, he said, “Now Jim, I like the way you carry
yourself – that’s an important asset for the job as cashier.
However,you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the
place on the application where we asked your formal education.”
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said,
“Where did you get your financial education?”
“Oh,” replied Jim – “Yale.”
“That’s very good… excellent. You’re hired!”
“Now that you’re working for us, what do you prefer to be called?”
Jim answered “I don’t care… Yim… or Mr. Yonson.”

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