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“How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

“How many times have you committed suicide?”

Q: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “And what were doing at that time?”

Q: “Can you describe the individual?”
A: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Q: “Was this a male, or a female?”

Q: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a dep- osition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
A: “No, this is how I dress when I go to work.”

Q: “All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?”
A: “Oral.”

Q: “You were not shot in the fracas?”
A: “No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.”

Q: “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?”
A: “I have been since early childhood.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested
at the airport for drug smuggling?

It seems she bent over and someone saw fifty
pounds of crack….

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

A woman asks: “Why don’t men get mad cow disease?”

Another woman replies: “Because men are pigs!”

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Related:  Q & A (+15908), Valentine's Day (+248)      

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A: A stamp.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

A distraught man went to a psychiatrist and exclaimed, “Doctor, I believe that I am possessed by an evil spirit.” After talking to the patient at some length, the psychiatrist said, “You do appear to have a problem. I’d like to see you again next Wednesday.”
After a second session of psychotherapy, the psychiatrist pronounced his patient completely cured.
For the next nine months, the psychiatrist sent the man a monthly statement for his professional services, but the man wouldn’t pay and refused to acknowledge the debt.
Finally, the psychiatrist took the man to court and had him repossessed.

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