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Related:  Financial (+1216)      

At a country-club party a young stockbroker was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.” “You’re wrong,” the young stockbroker declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the brokerage firm where your father has his account.”

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Related:  Kids (+2427), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: What do you give a sick pig?
A: Oinkment!

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32389)      

A Pollock walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly
he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him.
He stops, bangs on the window and says,”So, what does this cost ?!!”.
And the hooker replies,”25 dollars !!”.
And the Pollock said ,”Hmm, that’s not a lot of money for insulated
windows !!”.

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Related:  Jewish (+6994)      

Rivkah gets into work late one Monday morning and goes to see her boss to apologise. “I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to move some furniture this morning before I came into work. In fact my back is killing me after my efforts.”
“So why didn’t you wait until your husband gets home tonight?” asks her boss.
“I could have,” says Rivkah, “but the couch is easier to move if hes not on it.”

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Related:  Arizona (+117)      

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. “Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.”

From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, “Wow! It just missed the highway!”

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