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The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, “This is good!”
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, “This is good!”
To which the king replied, “No, this is NOT good!” and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.
“You were right,” he said, “it was good that my thumb was blown off.” And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. “And so am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this.”
“No,” his friend replied, “This is good!”
“What do you mean, ‘This is good’? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?”
“If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

After walking around London city shops for a few minutes, Paddy turns to Murphy with a look of amazement on his face and says, “Murphy, will you have a look at that shop over there. I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but that shop is as cheap as chips.” “So it is.” Murphy says, “Paddy you’re right so you are, will you have a look at that. Suits £10.00, Shirts £4.00, Trousers £5.00. I think that we should buy a job lot and take them back to Ireland. We would make a tidy profit selling them in Dublin.” “So we would.” Paddy says in agreement, “Murphy that is as good an idea as you’ll ever have, but I’m pretty sure that you have to pay taxes and duty on things like that. The shopkeeper will never let us have them if he thinks that we’re gonna export them and make our fortune, so he won’t.”
Murphy thinks and says,”Paddy, I’ve got an idea! You can do the best English accent out of the pair of us. You go in there and do the talking and I’ll just stand behind you and say nothing. He’ll never guess we’re Irish so he won’t.”
“OK Murphy”, agrees Paddy, “I’ll do the talking, you just stand there and look English.” So the two visitors to England’s illustrious capital city go into the shop, where Paddy is greeted politely by the owner.
Paddy then proceeds to do his best Phil Mitchell impression; “Awwwight Guvnor, I’ll ‘ave 20 of yer Whistle ‘un Flutes’, 20 ‘Dickie Dirts’ and 20 pairs of strides. And if yer don’t mind I’ll be paying with the 380 ‘Pictures of the Queen’ in me ‘Sky Rocket’.”
Upon hearing this request from Paddy, the owner smiles, takes a look at Murphy as well then asks Paddy, “You’re Irish aren’t you?” Very surprised, Paddy replies, “Well, would ya believe it, if that isn’t my best English accent. How did you know that we were Irish?”
The owner replies, “This is a Dry Cleaners, mate!!”

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Related:  Animals (+5197), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: What do you call a dog with two balls and no hind legs?
A: Sparky

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Related:  Politics (+3832), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House?

A: There is White-out on the screen.

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Related:  Politics (+3832)      

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at
the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a
replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to
be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced
his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the
best they could do at such short notice.

Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking
his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to
the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man
was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay but
the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by
the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach
cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse till finally he had to excuse
himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing
through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon,
scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By
now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so
disorientated that he couldn’t remember which door led to the
bathroom.

He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he
finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers
and ran in, he realised to his horror that he had stumbled into
Monica Lewinsky’s office with his trousers around his knees.

As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard
her president whisper in a barely audible voice, “sack my
cook”.

And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.

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