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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

This simple three question test illustrates how often Bill Clinton must be telling lies.

1. Is the Pope catholic?
2. Does Windows have bugs?
3. Does Clinton lie?

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Related:  Marriage (+787), Military (+607)      

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. “Oh darling” he gushed, “Come here… let me look at you… let me hold you! Let’s have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I’ve missed your lovin’ so much!”
The wife, keeping her distance, said, “All in good time lover. First, let’s hear you play that harmonica.”

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Related:  Animals (+5185)      

Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second hiker says, “What are you doing?”

The first responds, “I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll have to jump down and make a run for it.”

The second says, “Are you crazy? Don’t you know you can’t outrun a bear?

The first guy says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear… I only have to outrun you!”

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Related:  Animals (+5185)      

A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt. He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged.

“Have you always been that way?” asked the podiatrist.

“No,” she said, not until recently. “I’ve been fucking a lot doggie style.”

“Well,” said the podiatrist, “you are going to have to stop.”

“I can’t,” she replied, “that’s the only way my German Shepherd fucks.”

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Related:  Sport (+1015)      

A cricket enthusiast had three trays installed in his office labelled ‘In’ , ‘Out’ , and ‘L.B.W.’ .
A visitor remarked as he could see the significance of ‘In’ and ‘Out’ but what did ‘L.B.W.’ mean ?
And the cricket enthusiast replied : “Let the Bastards Wait.”

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