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The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely.
“I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table!”
Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.
“Yes,” replied the girl, “much better.”
“Very good, darling,” the husband whispered. “Now would you be so kind as to please pass the pussy.”

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Two Auburn fans have been walking in the woods for eight hours when they stop and one turns to the other and says, “I’m cutting the next Christmas tree we find – lights or no lights.”

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Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch ‘n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

What’s a light bulb?

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Why do men die before their wives?

Because they want to.

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