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Related:  Jewish (+6994)      

Rabbi Herzl was visiting Mrs Gold, an elderly member of his congregation. Rabbi Herzl said, “You know, my dear Mrs Gold, that you are getting on in years and although I pray to the almighty that he will grant you many more years in good health, you really should now be thinking more of the hereafter.”
Mrs Gold replied, “Thank you, Rabbi, but I am always thinking about the hereafter.”
Rabbi Herzl was rather surprised with this response.
“Really?” he said.
“Oh yes, Rabbi, every time I go upstairs, I say to myself, ‘what am I here after?’ and every time I go into my kitchen, I say to myself, ‘what am I here after?’ I do it all the time now.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32433)      

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary and those that dont …

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Related:  Animals (+5194)      

A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the
desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem,
the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move
until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go
along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat
off the camel every day for the first three days. On the fourth day, the
camel stops again and refuses to move, so the guy gets down and prepares
to do his duty, but the camel quickly steps aside. He tries again, And
again. Finally in exasperation he walks in front of the camel and says
“For Christ’s sake, what do you want now?” The camel puckers up and makes
little sucking noises.

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Related:  Easter (+210), Q & A (+15905)      

Q: What do you call a bunny with a large brain?

A: An egghead.

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Related:  Blonde (+4663), Q & A (+15905)      

Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The 1994 hide ‘n’ go seek champion!

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