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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than
the posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decides
to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of
a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he
used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase
on his hands but plays along with it. “Tell me Fred, how did you lose
your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred
Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the
time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I
got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through
college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree
so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.
“After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to
school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my
degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so
I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was
Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD.
“Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was
Fred Dingaling MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking
away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as
Fred Dingaling with VD.
“Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I’m just Fred.”
The officer let him go without even a warning.

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Related:  Politics (+3832), Q & A (+15910)      

Q: How can you tell when a senator has been inside your bed?

A: There are hi-rise parking tickets up against your toilet!

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Related:  Sex (+4815)      

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely
three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman’s
apartment.
“I can’t imagine what it will be like making love to a midget,”
said the woman, “especially with the size difference and all.”
“Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs
apart and close your eyes,” said the midget.
The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest
thing she’d ever experienced inside her.
Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.
“If you think that was good,” said the midget with a smirk, “Just
wait till I get BOTH legs in there!”

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Related:  Bar (+1637)      

Two guys were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said the first guy.

“Bet you $10 he won’t,” replied the second. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first his money.

“I can’t take your money,” said the first guy. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.”

“No, no. Take it,” said the second guy. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”

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Related:  Blonde (+4664), Q & A (+15910)      

Q: What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A: A brunette with bad breath!!

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