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Roger was fed up with his wife, so he packed up his stuff and moved into the garage. Although he couple seldom spoke, he continued to mow the lawn, take out the garbage and fix the car, while she cooked the meals, vacuumed and did the laundry.

Months later, Roger met his friend Don for drinks. “Things don’t seem to be working out any better,” Don remarked. “Why don’t you just move out?”

“Well, if you really want to know the truth,” Roger explained, “she makes such a damn good neighbor.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32428)      

Q: What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?
A: Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32428)      

My Mother taught me LOGIC…”If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”

My Mother taught me MEDICINE…”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.”

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD…”If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job!”

My Mother taught me ESP…”Put your sweater on; don’t you think that I know when you’re cold?”

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE…”What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you…Don’t talk back to me!”

My Mother taught me HUMOR…”When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT…”If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.

My mother taught me about GENETICS…”You are just like your father!”

My mother taught me about my ROOTS…”Do you think you were born in a barn?”

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE…”When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION…”Just wait until your father gets home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING…”You are going to get it when we get home.”

And, my all-time favorite – JUSTICE…”One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU – then you’ll see what it’s like!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32428)      

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the
outside?
A: K9P.

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Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

Show me a Jewish boy who didn’t become a doctor and I’ll show you a lawyer.

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