Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

It’s 3am in the morning in Golders Green and Maurice and Golda are woken up by a loud banging on their front door. Maurice gets up and opens the door to a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain.
“Can I have a push?” says the drunk.
“No you can’t,” says Maurice, “it’s three o’clock in the morning. Please go away, you’ll wake the children.”
Maurice shuts the door and goes back to bed.
“Who was that?” asks Golda.
“Just some drunk, dear, asking for a push,” Maurice replies.
“So did you help him?” Golda asks.
“No I didn’t. It’s 3am and it’s pouring with rain,” replies Maurice.
Golda says, “Shame on you, Maurice. Have you already forgotten when our car broke down about six months ago in Bournemouth and those two men helped us? I think you should help the man outside.”
So Maurice reluctantly does as he is told. He gets dressed, goes out into the pouring rain and calls out, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” Maurice shouts.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“So where are you?” asks Maurice.
“Over here on the swing,” replies the drunk.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Halloween (+1180), Q & A (+15912)      

Q: What music do ghosts like?

A: Haunting melodies.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

Knock!Knock!
Whose there?
Maddam!
Maddam who?
Maddam foot stuck in your door!

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Men vs. Women (+5690)      

The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. “After all, dear,” she said, “you wouldn’t expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?”

“No,” her husband replied. “Nor would I expect to find a gift wrapping on a dead beaver.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Halloween (+1180)      

The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, “Trick or Treat!”

The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for Halloween. The kid says, “I’m an IRS agent.” Then he takes 28% of the man’s candy, leaves, and doesn’t say Thank You.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com