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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward
and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to
write a new book about the scandal. Working title: “All the
President’s Women.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human
reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: “Female humans are born
with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce
millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?” One
young woman’s answer: “Because they won’t ask for directions either.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
And gently lowered the window
And crushed his fucking head.

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Related:  Law (+1200)      

A true story: A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City, to which one judge remarked, “I should have suspected he wasn’t a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite.”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5687)      

A guy was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it
is his daughter’s birthday and that he hasn’t bought her anything. Out
the corner of his eye he sees a shopping mall. Knowing it was “now or
never”, he pulls his car through three lanes of traffic, finds a
parking bay and runs into the mall. After a frantic search he finds a
toy store, goes inside and attracts the attention of a shop assistant.
When asked what he would like, he simply says “a Barbie doll”.
The shop assistant looks at him in the particularly condescending
manner that only shop assistants can muster up and asks “Which Barbie
would that be, sir?” The man looks surprised so the assistant
continues “We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to
the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie dates
BaddTeddy for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes
Night Clubbing for $19.95, Cyber Barbie for $19.95 and Divorced Barbie
for $265.00” The man can’t help himself and asks “why is Divorced
Barbie $265.00 when all the other Barbies are selling for $19.95?”
“That’s obvious!” says the assistant, “Divorced Barbie comes with
Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s furniture…

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