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A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.

Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, “SPEED TRAP AHEAD”.

The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted “TIPS” and a bucket of change.

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.

“Madam,” said the sales manager, “the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!”

She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, “Nelson.” The radio responded, “Ricky or Willie?” She was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that’s what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.

She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying “On The Road Again” when the light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously not paying attention to the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a collision.

“Idiot!” she yelled and, from the radio, “Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5689), Q & A (+15909), Sex (+4815)      

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet, sensitive men in this world?

A: Because they already have boyfriends!

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Related:  Dog (+336)      

Did you hear about the guy that entered his dog at Crufts?
He got 16 months.

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

From the law offices of Johnnie Cochran, Esq, here are the top proposed closing arguments in the matter of United States Vs Bill Clinton:

* If the dress ain’t a mess, he won’t need to confess!

* The economy’s great, let the white boy skate!

* If the bitch didn’t spit, you must aquit!

* If she is not spread eagle, then it’s not illegal!

* Lewinsky’s a whore, and Bill’s better than Gore!

* So he lied to the masses, he was just saving some asses!

* He cheats on his wife, but it’s his personal life!

* Bill won’t tell the truth until he sees Ken Starr’s proof!

* Bill is not sleazy, Lewinsky’s just easy!

* If the sex is just oral, it’s not really immoral!

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