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Related:  Yo momma (+8)      

Yo momma breath is so stank I look forward to her FARTS.
Yo momma cooks so badly yo family preys before they eat.
Yo momma has no teeth and they call her chewy.
Yo momma is like an Ice-cream cone every body gets a lick.
Yo momma like a bag of potato chips, “Free-To-Lay”.
Yo momma like a bowling ball she gets fingered thrown in the gutter and still comes back for more.
Yo momma like hardware stores 50 cents a screw.
Yo momma like a pony when you spank her she goes faster.
Yo momma like is like a hockey player she doesn’t change her pads for three periods.
Yo momma so black she got counted absent in night school!
Yo momma so black when she jumped in the pool, people screamed, “Oil spill”!!!!
Yo momma so dark she was trying to eat a tootsie roll, she ate her finger.
Yo momma so dirty I walked in your house and asked what was for dinner and yo momma jumped on the table spread her legs and said crabs.
Yo momma so greasy she uses a piece of bacon for a band-aid.
Yo momma so hairy that when you were born you got a carpet burn.
Yo momma so hungry that in 1951 she saw bus full of white people and said twinky!
Yo momma so nasty every time she craps she gotta take a shower because she can’t reach her butt to wipe it.
Yo momma so nasty I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo momma so nasty she wipes her butts before she craps.
Yo momma so short she does back flips under the bed!
Yo momma so skinny she could hula-hoop in cheerio.
Yo momma so skinny she could stand under the shower and not even get wet.
Yo momma so slow that you asked her if she know any thing, she was speechless.
Yo momma so small she has to stand on a nickel to pee on a dime.
Yo momma so smelly she had to have right guard AND left guard.
Yo momma’s chest is as her back.
Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow she spit butter.
Yo momma’s teeth are so yellow she walks in the street and slows down traffic.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

A guy walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey.
The bartender asks “Why?” The guy responds and says “I got my first blow.”
The bartender says “In that case I’ll give you two shots of whiskey.”
The guy says “No, I just want one to get the taste out of my mouth.”

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Related:  Q & A (+15909), Redneck (+1460)      

Q: What do you call the moisture between two people having sex in Alabama?
A: Relative humidity

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and says, “What’s in the box kid?” to which the little boy says, “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”

Al Gore laughs and says, “What kind of kittens are they?”

“Democrats,” the child says.

“Oh that’s cute,” Al Gore says and he runs off.

A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.

Al Gore says to Bill, “You gotta check this out,” and they both jog over to the boy with the box.

Al Gore says, “Look in the box Bill, isn’t that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are.”

The boy replies, “They’re Republicans.”

“Whoa!” Al Gore says, “I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What’s up?”

“Well,” the kid says, “Their eyes are open now.”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5689)      

Three men who always stopped at their favorite bar after work were discussing their jobs and tying one on and getting rather smashed.

Suddenly one of the fellows looked at his watch and exclaimed, “Good God! It’s nearly two o’clock, boy! Are we ever gonna’ catch holy hell when we get home!”

Second guy says, “Shay, I got an idee…let’s just agree with the broads in everything they shay, and (hic-cup,belch) we’ll meet back here tomorrow night, God willing and the creek don’t rise.”

Next evening, they lucked out and met at the bar and were telling their experiences.

First guy says, “Man, was I ever loaded last night, but I crept in the house and I was as dry as bone and started to get a glass of water and dropped it in the floor and broke the glass. My wife said, ‘Why don’t you break every glass in the house?’ So I got my boy’s baseball bat and broke every glass in the house.”

Second man says, “Well, I was dry too and I spilt a little water on the floor and my old lady said, ‘Why don’t you flood the whole house?’ So I got the water hose and flooded the damn house.”

It’s the third mans turn to tell his story and he begins by saying, “Hell, you guys ain’t heard nothing yet. My old lady is such clean freak that I quietly pussy-footed into our bedroom and snuck under the covers and started feeling her up. I played around with her big tits a bit, the I began getting a little lower and lower, lower, and right down to her “honey-box,” when all of a sudden the bitch cried out, ‘You son of a bitch, cut that out!’ Look here, boys … have you all ever seen one up close?”

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