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Related:  Sex (+4811)      

Two cuties were comparing notes concerning their latest boyfriends.

The first said, “He took me to his condo in Ocean City and showed me all these expensive jewels. There was an emerald-cut diamond of at least five carats, a tennis bracelet of six carats, and even a wrist watch with eleven carats.”

“Impressive.” said the second young thing.

“Well… yes.” the first agreed. “But the downside was that with all those carats, he expected me to behave like a rabbit.”

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Related:  Sex (+4811)      

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting
drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she’s so down.
“My husband just left me. He said I’m too kinky in bed,” she said.
“What a coincidence! My wife just left me,” said the man, “she told
me that I was too kinky for her, too!”
The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have so
much in common they decide to go back to the woman’s house to have
kinky sex.
When they get to the woman’s house she turns to the man and says,
“Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable.”
She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrix
outfit.
However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting on
his coat and walking out the door.
“What happened?” She said, “I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?”
He looks at her and says, “Well, I just screwed your dog and shit in
your purse. I’m done.”

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Related:  LGBT (+289), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: What do you call a gay gentleman from the Deep South?
A: A homo-sex-you-all.

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Related:  Politics (+3829), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: What is the difference between greeting the Queen and greeting the President of the United States?
A: You only have to get on one knee to greet the Queen.

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Related:  Sport (+1015)      

The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled.
“On what grounds?” questioned the Judge, “This court does not take annulments lightly.”
“Non-virginity,” replied the quarterback, “When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver.”

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