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Related:  Q & A (+15911)      

Q: Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast.
A: The mime next door went nuts.

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Related:  Over the Hill (+599)      

An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about a new restaurant he and his wife recently visited.

“The food and service were great!” he said.

His friend asked, “What’s the name of the place?”

“Gee, I don’t remember,” he said, “What do you call the long stemmed flower people give on special occasions?”

“You mean a rose?” asked his friend.

“That’s it!” he exclaimed and turning to his wife, asked, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?”

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Related:  Sport (+1015)      

A couple met on a golf course, and fell in love. A few weeks later, the guy said, “It’s only fair to warn you, I’m a golf nut. I live, eat, breath, and sleep golf.”

The lady said, “Since we are being honest here, I have something to tell you, I’m a hooker.”

The guy looked down to ground, and thought for a minute, and then looked up and said, “It’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”

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Related:  Blonde (+4663), Professional (+1060), Q & A (+15911)      

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A: Hey! There’s some things even a blonde won’t do.

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Related:  Jewish (+6995)      

One Sabbath, Joseph discovers a gay shul in Hendon. He’s very excited. It is exactly what he had been looking for. There’s a gay cantor and a gay Rabbi, and even the congregation is mostly gay. So with a happy heart, Joseph sits down and joins in the service.
Soon, however, he just can’t help noticing the handsome young man sitting next to him. Hard as he tries, he can’t stop himself – Joseph puts his hand on the young man’s knee.
Immediately two large men rush over to Joseph, pick him up, quickly carry him out of the shul and forcibly throw him out into the street.
As he picks himself up, Joseph says, “Why on earth did you have to do that? I thought this was a gay synagogue.”
“It is,” one of them replied in a deep voice. “But nobody messes with the rebbetzin.”

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