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Related:  Medical (+1838)      

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny… keep me potent.”

The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label “Viagra Extra Strength” and says, “Here, if you eat this, you’ll go nuts for twelve hours.”

The guy says, “Gimme three boxes.”

The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man’s jewels are black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, “Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay.”

The pharmacist replies, “Ben Gay? You’re not going to put Ben Gay on that are you?”

The man says, “No, it’s for my arms, the girls never showed up.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the
superior culture.

The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon”
The Italian says, “We have the Colosseum”
The Greek says “We had great Mathematicians”
The Italian says “We had the Roman Empire”

… and so on and so on and then the Greek says: “We invented sex”
The Italian says “That is true, but it was the Italians who
introduced it to women.”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5690)      

A man came home from work one day and found total mayhem. The three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud. Empty food boxes and wrappers were strewn across the yard.
When he went inside, the mess was even worse. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against the wall. In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring on a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, cereal had been spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over more piles of clothes and toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He found her in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a book. She looked up at him and smiled and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?”
She smiled and answered, “You know how every day when you come home from work, you ask me what in the hell I do all day?”
“Yes,” he said, baffled.
“Well,” she said, “today I didn’t do any of it!”

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Related:  Q & A (+15907), Thanksgiving (+129)      

Q: What key has legs and can’t open doors?
A: Tur-key.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

So here I sit, in all my glory…
Lend me an ear, and I’ll tell ya a story…

I once had a wife – she was such a dear,
Then came the Net, and it all disappeared!

Now there she sits, for hours on end…
Don’t care where I’m goin’, don’t care where I’ve been.

It could be three, or it could be nine…
she really doesn’t care, long as she’s online.

She gets outta work and rushes home,
She comes in yelling at me, “Get off the phone!”

Where is the hug? Where is my kiss?
But she’s at the computer – that’s all she missed!

Talking to cyber friends, checking the mail
I might as well be in a Cyber Jail!

My stomach’s growling – it’s so unfair!
No clean dishes and no clean underwear!

Drink me a beer, stare at the walls
I’ll pick at my teeth and roam the halls,

Farting and burping what a sight to see…
Can you believe she’s there??
When she could be with ME!

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