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What’s green, has 4 legs, and smells like a woman’s butt?
The pool table in the White House.

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Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

Solly, an orthodox Jew, goes to a job interview with a gentile employer.
In the course of the interview, which was going well, the employer asks Solly what kind of salary he is looking for.
Thinking of his large family and the many bills that have to be paid, Solly quickly replies that he’d needs around £50k per annum.
The employer replies that in today’s market and with Solly’s limited skill set, he is only prepared to pay £40k per annum.
Upon hearing this, Solly tells him “… listen even though I am an orthodox Jew and keep kosher, I still have to bring home the bacon!!”

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Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

Morris was talking to his friend Sydney. “Do you know,” he said, “some mornings I wake up grouchy… and some mornings I just let her sleep.”

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Related:  Jewish (+6996)      

According to the Jewish calendar, the year is 5766. According to the
Chinese calendar, the year is 4702. This means that the Jews went without Chinese food for 1,064 years. This period was known as the Dark Ages.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to
change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all
showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband
says, “my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.”

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is
astonished. “Oh, oh, aaaahhh,” he exclaims, “My God you are
so beautiful, let me take your picture.”

Puzzled she asks, “MY picture?”

He answers, “yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to
my heart forever”.

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into
the bathroom to shower.

He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, “why do
you wear a robe? We are married now.” at that the man opens
his robe and she exclaims, “oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a
picture”.

He beams and asks, “why?”

She answers, “SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED”!

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