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Related:  Policemen (+247)      

Police officer George and officer Mary had been assigned to walk the beat.

They had only been out a short while when Mary said, “Damn, I was running late this morning and forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them.”

George replied, “We don’t have to go back just give Fido my trusty police dog one sniff, and he will go fetch them for you.”

It was a hot day and Mary didn’t fell like heading back to the station, so she lifted her skirt for the dog. Fido’s nose shoots between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds of sniffing, Fido’s ears pick up, he sniffs the wind, and he is off in a flash towards the station house.

Five minutes go by and no sign of Fido. Ten minutes pass, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes pass, and they are starting to worry.

Twenty minutes pass, and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police cars, Fido rounds the corner with the Desk Sergeant’s balls in his mouth!

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Related:  Jewish (+6993)      

There was a Jew sitting at the side of the road
crying when a friend came along.’What’s wrong why are you crying. ‘ well I have seen a coach load of Russians go over that cliff. ‘Surely that souldn’t make you cry’. Normally it wouldn’t but there were two empty seats.

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Related:  Music (+2464), Q & A (+15908)      

How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?

The doorbell shrieks!

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Related:  Halloween (+1180)      

All eyes turned to stare as a gorgeous redhead walked into the costume party stark naked. The alarmed host rushed to intercept her.
“Where’s your costume?” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“This is it,” she calmly explained. “I came as Adam.”
“Adam?” her host exploded. “You don’t even have a dick!”
“I just got here, Jeremy,” she replied. “Give me a few minutes.”

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Related:  Animals (+5185)      

A king is sitting on his throne one day and is bored out of his mind. He decides to make a contest to kill his boredom. He tells his servant to send out for a person to find the biggest ping pong ball and the reward would be one million dollars.

So his servant announces this to the kingdom and everyone rushes out. The first man walks into the king’s castle and has a huge ball 2 feet long. The king is in shock and says, “That is a huge ping pong ball.” He tells the man to step aside, and wait for the others turn.

Another man brings a ping pong ball 4 feet long. The king is astonished, and says to the man, “Wow! That’s a humungous ball. I think you’ll probably be the winner, but lets wait to see the last person’s ball!”

The next man starts pushing this HUGE, hairy , bloody, brown thing into the kings castle. The king jumps up and screams, “Good god man! What kind of ping pong ball is that?”

The man replies, “Ping pong ball? Ping pong ball? I thought you said KING KONG’S BALLS?!?”

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