Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he
was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor,
and the doctor said, “All right, let’s check you out. You sit down here
on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and read
that chart on the wall over there.”
He puts his left hand over his left eye. The doctor says, “No, no,
no. Put your right hand over your right eye.”
This old person puts both hands over both eyes. The doctor is now
getting upset. The patient continues to screw up, and the doctor
really gets mad and says, “All right, I’ll fix you!” He gets a paper
bag out of the closet, puts one hole in it, puts it over his head, and
says, “Now, read that chart!” The guy read it perfect!
The doctor takes the bag off, and this old person starts crying
like a baby. The doctor says, “Now, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Well, when I first came in here, I had my heart set on wire frames!”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Animals (+5196)      

There is this old rooster on a farm. One day the farmer said that he needs a younger rooster. So he buys one. He brings it back to the farm. The old rooster says, “I bet I can race you around the barn 3 times and win”. Then the younger rooster says “your on”. Then when they start the race, the old rooster jumps ahead, the younger rooster is right behind him. One lap, two laps, 2 and a half laps then BANG the young rooster is blown to smithereenes! The farmer was on his porch with his shot gun. Then the farmer says, “THATS THE 2ND FUCKIN GAY ROOSTER I HAVE HAD THIS WEEK.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Limericks (+436), Sexy Limericks (+333)      

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think –
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

I guess some things will never change. I hired a temp while my
secretary was on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an
agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.

She said, “Well… the minimum I could work for is four
hundred a week.”

I told her I’d give her that much with pleasure.

She shook her head and replied, “With pleasure, it’ll be $600
a week.”

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends
Related:  Animals (+5196)      

Three nature lovers went for a drive into the mountains one day to see if they could spot some bears. They wanted to take pictures of bears for their photo album. So they drove along an old dirt road until they entered the trees. As they rounded a curve, they spotted a sign that read: “BEAR LEFT.”
So they turned around and went home.

Share on Facebook!    Share on Twitter!    Share on Reddit!    Share on Stumbleupon!    Share on LinkedIn!    Share on Google!    Share with friends


© 2015 ijokedb.com