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A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, “Does anyone know what this is?”

And little Johnny says, “Yes, my dad has 2 of them!”

And the teacher says, “Are you sure about that?”

And little Johnny says, “Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big long one to brush the babysitter’s teeth.”

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Related:  Sex (+4810)      

A very good-looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat up every single woman who walks into the bar, without any luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man, walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women in the place.

Disheartened by all this, the good-looking man asks the bartender, “Excuse me, but that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two stunning women. What’s his secret? He’s as ugly as sin and I’m everything a girl could want, but I haven’t been able to connect all night. What’s going on?”

“Well,” said the bartender, “I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows.”

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Related:  Sex (+4810)      

Emily, I don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alan in accounting asked me out for Saturday night. Should I go?”

“Oh, my gosh,” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he’ll rip off your dress and you’ll have fantastic sex!”

“What should I do?”

“Wear an old dress.”

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Related:  Music (+2464)      

What’s the difference between violists and terrorists?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

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Related:  Easter (+210), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry?

A: Because it’s always on a sundae!

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