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A blonde was having sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examined her and said, ”You have acute appendicitis.”

The blond yelled at the doctor…
”I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

A traveling salesman’s car breaks down, and he walks over
to a near by farm. He knocks on the door and the farmer
appears.
“Excuse me sir, but my car broke down about a mile down
the road, and I was wondering if you had a place I could stay,
just until morning, and I…..”
The farmer says, “Well, I can let you sleep in the barn, but
you’ll have to sleep with my two sons….”
The salesman says, “Sons! I must be in the wrong joke!”

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Related:  Financial (+1218)      

An IRS official has come to a rural synagogue for an inspection. The rabbi is accompanying him.

“So rabbi, tell me, please, after you have distributed all your unleavened bread, what do you do with the crumbs?”

“Why, we gather them carefully and send them to the city and then they make bread of them again and send it to us.”

“Ah. So what about candles after they are burnt? What do you do with the ends?”

“We send them to the city as well, and they make new candles from them and send them to us.”

“And what about circumcision? What do you do with those leftover pieces?”

The rabbi, wearily, replies, “We send them to the city as well.”

“To the city!? And what do they send to you?”

“Today they have sent you to us.”

@IRS

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Related:  Jewish (+6995)      

Freda and Ethel, both in their eighties, are sitting on a bench outside Edgware town hall where they had just visited the annual flower show. Freda turns to Ethel and says, “Don’t you agree that life is getting more and more boring? We don’t seem to be able to have the fun we used to.”
“I agree with you there,” says Ethel.
“Do you know,” continues Freda, “I’d love to take off all my clothes and run naked through the flower show. That would liven things up.”
“I bet you $5 you wouldn’t dare,” says Ethel.
“Youre on!” says Freda and 2 minutes later, completely naked, she ‘streaks’ through the front door of the flower show.
As Ethel waits outside, she hears a commotion going on inside the town hall. Then Freda, still naked, runs back out, followed by a smiling, cheering crowd.
“What happened, Freda?” asks Ethel.
“I just won 1st prize for Best Dried Arrangement.”

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What does it mean when the Post Office flies the American Flag half mast?
They’re hiring!

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