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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5685)      

A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office. The wife says, “I want a tooth pulled. Don’t use gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth is it.”

The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

Q: What’s an Eskimo’s favorite song?
A: Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!

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Related:  Engineer (+51)      

Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the American the job.”

Murphy asked, “And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland, and me being Irish I should get the job!”

The manager said, “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the question that you missed.”

Murphy then asked, “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”

The manager replied, “Simple, the American put down on question #5, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I’.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

How do you know if you’re in love, in lust, or really married?
LOVE – When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST – When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE – When you lose your child in crowded room.
LOVE – When intercourse is called “making love.”
LUST – When intercourse is called “screwing.”
MARRIAGE – What the hell are you talking about?
LOVE – When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST – When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE – When you argue over money.
LOVE – When you share everything you own.
LUST – When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE – When the bank owns everything.
LOVE – When it doesn’t matter if you don’t climax.
LUST – When the relationship is over if you don’t climax.
MARRIAGE – What’s a climax?
LOVE – When you write poems about your partner.
LUST – When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE – When all you write is checks.
LOVE – When you show concern for your partner’s feelings.
LUST – When you couldn’t give a shit.
MARRIAGE – When your only concern is what’s on TV.
LOVE – When your heart flutters everytime you see them.
LUST – When your groin twitches everytime you see them.
MARRIAGE – When your wallet empties everytime you see them.
LOVE – When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST – When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE – When you listen to talk radio.
LOVE – When you’re only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST – When you’re only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE – When you’re only interested in your golf score.

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Related:  College (+415)      

* You consider McDonald’s “real food.”

* You actually like doing laundry at home.

* 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.

* It starts getting late on the weeknights.

* Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

* You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.

* You’d rather clean than study.

* Half the time you don’t wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.

* Computer Solitaire is more than a game it’s a way of life.

* You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.

* You know the pizza boy by name.

* You go to sleep when it’s light and get up when it’s dark.

* You live for getting mail. (E-mail included)

* Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.

* Prank phone calls become funny again.

* Wal-Mart is the coolest store.

* World War III could take place and you’d be clueless.

* You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.

* Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

* Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.

* You find out milk crates have so many uses.

* The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday. (or Wednesday morning to Tuesday night)

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