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Related:  Holidays (+1418)      

Q: What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
A: Santa Clues!

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Related:  Bar (+1638)      

A construction worker walks into a bar. He’s a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!” A sudden silence descends.

After a moment he asks “Anyone got a problem with that?” The silence lengthens.

He then chugs back another beer and growls, “And all you guys on the other side of the bar are all scum!” Once again, the bar is silent.

He looks around belligerently and roars, “Anyone got a problem with that?” A lone man gets up from his stool unsteadily and starts to walk towards the man.

“You got a problem, buddy?”

“Oh no; I’m just on the wrong side of the bar.”

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Related:  Sport (+1015)      

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, “What the hell is taking so long? Hit the goddamn ball!”

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Well, hell, man, you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here!”

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Related:  HR (+462), Q & A (+15907)      

Q: How much time can I spend going to the bathroom?
A: As long as it takes.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32431)      

What is the difference between a toilet and Convienience Store Clerk?

A toilet only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

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