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Kate McCann has applied for the England Managers job, she has an excellent record … only lost one in Europe.

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Related:  Sex (+4812)      

It has been determined that having sex before participating
in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not
impair the athlete’s performance. In fact, men have known
and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance
at their watches and say, “Oops, gotta run!”

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Related:  Redneck (+1460)      

Q: What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a redneck?
A: The good ol’ boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when
they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out
of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He’d
then jump back into the cab in time to drive away when the signal changed.
The first fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand it
no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick, the
first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. “I’m sorry to bother you,” he
said, over the din of the banging, “but I am very curious; could you tell
me what you are doing?” Without breaking rhythm, the truck driver replied,
“Sure, Mac. Ya see, this here’s a six-ton truck but I’ve got eight tons of
canaries aboard, so I’ve gotta keep two ton of them flying all the time so
I don’t break an axle”.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter.

“It’s me, Bill Clinton”.

“What bad things did you do on earth?”

Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. And I lied, but I didn’t commit perjury.”

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, “OK, here’s the deal. We’ll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won’t call it ‘Hell.’ You’ll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won’t call it ‘eternity.’ And don’t ‘abandon all hope’ upon entering, just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.”

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