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Related:  Financial (+1216)      

I know that economics is ruling my life when – I tried to calculate my 3 year old son’s discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be promised to him after dinner to be equivalent to one sweet before dinner – I spent one hour in a toy shop making up over 20 bundles of toys that could be purchased for $25 and then asked my son to select one of these bundles

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Related:  Sport (+1015)      

Arnold Palmer and Tiger Woods are playing the 16th hole, when Tiger’s tee shot lands behind a huge, 100 foot fir tree. Tiger looks at Arnie and says, “How would you play this one? Lay up and take the extra stroke?”

Arnold replies: “When I was your age, I’d just play right over this tree.”

Tiger, not wanting to be shown up by ol’ Arnold Palmer, proceeds to hit the ball high, but not high enough. It bounces off the tree and lands out of bounds. Tiger, really ticked at this point, asks Arnold how he EVER hit a ball over that tree.

Arnold replied: “Well, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.”

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Related:  Blonde (+4658)      

A brunette goes into a doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

The doctor says, “Well, tell me your symptoms.”

“Well, everything hurts. When I touch my nose it hurts (touching nose), when I touch my leg it hurts (touching leg), when I touch my arm it hurts (touching arm), it just hurts everywhere!” she said.

The doctor, after looking at her for a second, said, “Did you used to be a blonde?”

The brunette said, “Why yes!”

The doctor said, “Your finger’s broken.”

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Related:  Celebrity (+957)      

Paris Hilton lost all her money gambling in Las Vegas. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.

“I’m here for the paint job,” she said.

“Alright,” said the man. “Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house.”

Paris immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coating.

After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, “I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of
paint! By the way, that isn’t a porsche out back. It’s a new BMW.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32382)      

One day A Blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching. 5 minutes later she checked it again this happened all through the day till the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was.

“My computer keeps telling me I have mail!”

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