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Related:  Light Bulb (+1130), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: At least three. (Notes: think height!)

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Related:  Over the Hill (+598)      

A family was supposed to stay the night at a hotel, but there was a screw-up with the rooms, so Grandpa had to sleep in the same bed as the 15-year old Grandson. In the middle of the night Grandpa woke up and shouted: “Quick! Get me a woman! Fast!!”

The grandson moaned: “Please, Grandpa, calm down. First, its three o’clock in the morning, and you’ll never find a woman at this hour. Second, you’re 82 years old, and third, that’s MY dick you’re holding… not yours.”

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Related:  Animals (+5197), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: Ten sled dogs shared one umbrella, yet none got wet. Why?

A: It wasn’t raining. (There’s no drownpour here – the Arctic is a desert.)

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

The Missing Toupee!
On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, “Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!”
The driver didn’t think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, “Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!”
This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon.
A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him.
“Excuse me, sir, can I help you?”
The elderly man looked up and said, “Well, sonny, you sure can. I’ve lost my toupee and I’m trying to find it.
I thought I’d found it twice, but they were both parted in the middle…and mine’s parted on the side!”

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