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Related:  Holidays (+1416)      

Q: What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?
A: Hallowieners!

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands….
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
“You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate.
“Eve, honey, you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only woman on earth.”
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.
“Counting your ribs,” said Eve!

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Related:  Religious (+819)      

And Jesus said unto his disciples, “Whom do men say that I am?”
And His disciples answered unto Him, “Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch.”
And Jesus said, “What?”

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Related:  Elephant (+69), Sex (+4815)      

An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach.

A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak.
“Oh, thank you!” said the elephant.
“My, pleasure ma’am.” said the sparrow.
“Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there’s anything I can ever do for you, don’t hesitate to ask.”

The sparrow said, “Well, all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck an elephant.”
“Be my guest!”, said the elephant.

So the sparrow flew behind the elephant and started fucking. In the trees above, a monkey in the tree saw this and became very excited. He started to masturbate, shaking a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting the elephant on the head.
“OUCH!”, said the elephant.

Then sparrow looked over from behind and said, “Am I hurting you, dear?”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

“Look at me.” an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his
birthday bash. “I’ve aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.”

“I certainly have to agree with that.” piped-up his obviously long
suffering wife. “Henry’s cork’s been stationary for years.”

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