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Related:  Celebrity (+956)      

Paris Hilton pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story'”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that'”

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Related:  Q & A (+15908)      

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

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Related:  Lists (+737)      

1. Well, how ’bout that?…I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.

2. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?

3. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY.

4. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend…you might want to consider throwing a party.

6. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

7. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.

8. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

9. Father’s Day? Aaahh-don’t worry about that-it’s no big deal.

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Related:  Redneck (+1460)      

Rednecks don’t let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32388)      

The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. “This is Capt. Johnson, we’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and enjoy your stay in Toronto”.
Well the Capt. forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit.
The co-pilot says to the pilot “Well skipper, wotcha gonna do in Toronto?”
Now all ears in the plan are listening in to this conversation.
“Well”, says the skipper, “First I’m gonna check into the hotel and go for a mega-huge dump. Then I’m gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits. I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and slip the old salami to her all night”.
Well, everyone in the planes trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She’s so embarrassed she runs from the back of the plane to try and get to the cockpit to get the intercom off. Half way down, she trips over an old ladies handbag – ***splat *** and down she goes.
The old lady leans over and says, “No need to run dearie, he’s got to go for a shit first!”

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