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Related:  Sport (+1015)      

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate…what is two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, “Four?”

“Four?!?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

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Related:  Animals (+5186)      

Q: Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A: To a crow bar.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32386)      

In Montana, on the sight where Custer and his men had their asses handed
to them by the Sioux, a huge mural is to be painted. The artist insists on
complete secrecy.
When the mural is unveiled it shows an orgy of naked Indians screwing all
over the prairie, and in the center a cow with a halo. The artist says the
mural is a rendering of Custer’s final thoughts – “Holy cow! Look at all
them fuckin’ Indians!”

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5686)      

* “Haven’t I seen you before?”
o “Nice butt.”

* “I’m a Romantic.”
o “I’m poor.”

* “I need you.”
o “My hand is tired.”

* “I am different from all the other guys.”
o “I am not circumcised.”

* “I want a commitment.”
o “I’m sick of playing with myself.”

* “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.”
o “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”

* “I really want to get to know you better.”
o “So I can tell my friends about it.”

* “It’s just orange juice, try it.”
o “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.”

* “She’s kinda cute.”
o “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary.”

* “I don’t know if I like her.”
o “She won’t sleep with me.”

* “I miss you so much.”
o “I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to look good.”

* “Was it good for you?”
o “I’m insecure about my manhood.”

* “How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?”
o “Is my love tool really that small?”

* “I had a wonderful time last night.”
o “Who the hell are you?”

* “Do you love me?”
o “I’ve done something stupid and you might find out.”

* “Do you ‘really’ love me?”
o “I’ve done something stupid and you’re going to find out sooner or later.”

* “How much do you love me?”
o “I’ve done something really stupid and someone’s on their way to tell you by now.”

* “I have something to tell you.”
o “Get tested.”

* “I’ll give you a call.”
o “I’d rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.”

* “I’ve been thinking a lot.”
o “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”

* “I think we should just be friends.”
o “You’re ugly.”

* “I’ve learned a lot from you.”
o “Next!!!!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32386)      

What’s the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

Put the remote control between his toes.

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