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There was a guy from Ohio and he went to Texas on a vacation. The first night on the town he stopped at a big restaurant. He sat down at a table and a waitress comes up to him and asked him for his order. He told her that he wanted a beer. She went to the back and came back a few minutes later with a two foot tall bottle of beer. He looked at it and said “Isn’t that a little big?” the waitress replied “Everything is big in Texas.”
So then she asked him want he would like to eat. He looked at the menu and said he wanted the grilled steak. She went to the back and came out thirty minutes later with his order. But by this time he had drunk half of the beer and was a little drunk. She put the steak on the table and he looked at it for a second. It took up half the table with some hanging off the sides of the plate. He looked at her and said “Isn’t that a little big?” she then replied “Everything is big in Texas.”
So he ate some of the steak and drank the rest of the beer. At this point he was really drunk. Then the waitress came near his table and he flagged her down. He then asked her where the bathroom was. She said “It’s to your right, three doors down on your left.”
So he stumbled to the hallway and went three doors down. But instead of turning left he turned right and went out on to a balcony and stepped off in to a pool. Then he looked up and started to wave his arms and yelled “Don’t flush!”

1. You never run out of wheat
2. Those cool Saskatewan Wheat Pool hats
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4. Your province is really easy to draw
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor’s house
7. YOUR Roughriders survived
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9. People will assume you live on a farm
10.Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp.
The Genie will only grant him one wish.
The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”

1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
2. If Quebec Seperates, you will float off to sea
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea’s lyrics
7. The work day is about two hours long
8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
9. If someone asks if you’re from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their ass
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day



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