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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.”
She did and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!”
The woman said, “That’s okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me.”
So, KAZAM – she became the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, ” That’s okay because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM she became the richest woman in the world!

The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish.
She said, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager “How much is that new Barbie in the window?”

The Manager replied, “Which one? We have ‘Barbie Goes to the Gym’ for $19.95 … ‘Barbie Goes to the Ball’ for $19.95 … ‘Barbie Goes Shopping’ for $19.95 … ‘Barbie Goes to the Beach’ for $19.95… ‘Barbie Goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 … and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00.”

“Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?” Dad asked surprised.

“Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s House, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat and Ken’s furniture.”

How To Tell Where A Driver Is From!

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: NEW YORK

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO, but driving in CALIFORNIA

7. Waving at everyone that you pass, eating a moon pie, sipping an RC, smiling and chewing and talking to yourself. TENNESSEE

8. One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald’s bag out the window: TEXAS

10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA

12. Knee up against steering wheel, one hand on Tim Horton’s coffee cup, cell phone in ear, accelerator to the floor, applying makeup/doing crossword puzzle/reading morning Free Press, knocking down orange barrels, changing lanes without turn signals: MICHIGAN



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