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An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”

1. Big Rock
2. Preston Manning
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
4. The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a grade 4 education
5. Flames vs. Oilers
6. Stamps vs. Eskies
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your town’s turn to ban VLT’s
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”

Three guys, a Tarheel, a Blue Devil and an NC State Wolfpack are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

“I will give you each one wish; that’s three wishes total,” says the Genie.

The Wolfpack says, “I am studying to be a farmer; my dad was a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land in the Piedmont to forever be fertile.”

With a blink of the Genie’s eye, –POOF– the land in the Piedmont was made forever fertile.

The Tarheel was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Chapel Hill, so that no one can come into our precious city.”

Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, –POOF– there was a huge wall around Chapel Hill.

The Blue Devil says, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”

The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out.”

The Blue Devil says, “Fill it up with water.”

A man who owned a hand- operated rotisserie was barbecuing a chicken in his back yard when a hippie strolled by. The hippie stood and watched for a couple of minutes and then said slowly, “Uh… I don’t want to bug you man, but your music’s stopped, and your monkey’s on fire.”



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