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A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp.
The Genie will only grant him one wish.
The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
“I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job. A job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try.”
“Poof!” said the genie. “You’re a housewife.”

One day a bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest when they tripped over a genies lamp.
the genie comes out and says “hold it, hold it, hold it. If you two will just quit chasing each other for three minutes I’ll give you both three wishes”.
So they say okay that sounds fair.
the genie says “okay who’ll go first?”
the bear pushes the rabbit out of the way and says “i’ll go first”
so the genie says “okay”.
the bear goes “i wish all the bears in the forest exept for me were girls”.
the genie snappes his fingers and says done.
the rabbit says “I wish I had a crash helmet”.
the bear goes well thats a dumb wish.
but the rabbit says “thats my wish”.
the genie snappes his fingers and says done.
the bear says “I wish every bear in the world exept me were girls”.
the genie goes thats a big wish “it’ll count as two wishes”.
the bear goes “o-okay i’ll do it”.
the rabbit has two wishes left so the rabbit says “i wish for a motor scooter”.
then he gets on the scooter puts on his crash helmet and as he’s driving away
he yells “i wish the bear was gay”.

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what’s in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!
“Where on earth did you get that?” says the bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: “Here. Rub it.”
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish. Just one wish .. each person is only allowed one!”
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, “I want a million bucks!” A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, “Y’know, I think your genie’s a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”
“Tell me about it!” says the man, “do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?”

There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genie’s lamp.
The genie came out and said, “Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.”
The guy didn’t like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said, “Genie, I want a house in Hawaii.”
POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two.
This didn’t make him happy but, he made his second wish.
“Genie,I want 2 billion dollars.”
POOF! He got two billion, his wife four billion.
By now, this guy isn’t very happy.
The genie says, “You have one wish left. I have to remind you, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.”
The guy says, “Yeah, yeah. I know.”
So the guy thinks real hard and says “I got it! Genie, beat me half to death!”



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