Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a fairy godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.
“Well,” said the woman, “I guess I’d like to be rich.”
POOF!
The fairy godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.
“And I wouldn’t mind being a young and beautiful princess.”
POOF!
The fairy godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.
“Your third wish?” asked the fairy godmother.
The elderly woman’s dog raised his head and uttered a single, weak, hoarse “woof.”
“Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?”
POOF!
There, in front of the old woman, who has now turned into a beautiful princess, stood the most handsome young man any one had ever seen. More handsome than any one could possibly imagine. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.
As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, “I’ll bet you’re sorry you had me neutered.”

1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war… by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire
2. Your province is shaped like male genitalia
3. Everyone is a fiddle player
4. If someone asks if you’re a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ass
5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert
6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world’s largest land mammal
7. You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt
9. The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle music
10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada’s most beautiful city

A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp.
The Genie will only grant him one wish.
The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.
“I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job. A job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try.”
“Poof!” said the genie. “You’re a housewife.”

One day a bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest when they tripped over a genies lamp.
the genie comes out and says “hold it, hold it, hold it. If you two will just quit chasing each other for three minutes I’ll give you both three wishes”.
So they say okay that sounds fair.
the genie says “okay who’ll go first?”
the bear pushes the rabbit out of the way and says “i’ll go first”
so the genie says “okay”.
the bear goes “i wish all the bears in the forest exept for me were girls”.
the genie snappes his fingers and says done.
the rabbit says “I wish I had a crash helmet”.
the bear goes well thats a dumb wish.
but the rabbit says “thats my wish”.
the genie snappes his fingers and says done.
the bear says “I wish every bear in the world exept me were girls”.
the genie goes thats a big wish “it’ll count as two wishes”.
the bear goes “o-okay i’ll do it”.
the rabbit has two wishes left so the rabbit says “i wish for a motor scooter”.
then he gets on the scooter puts on his crash helmet and as he’s driving away
he yells “i wish the bear was gay”.



© 2015 ijokedb.com