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A couple decide to go golfing to the best golf course in their state. While playing, the husband tells his wife to be very careful, as there were many houses along the golf course. But the stupid wife swings her club and it breaks one of the glasses of the biggest house on the course.

So the husband and wife decided to go and apologize to the owner of the house. When they reached the house they found a glass bottle lying on the floor broken into hundreds of pieces. They found an old man sitting in his rocking chair and greeted the couple inside.

He said, “I am a genie and I would like to thank you for letting me free from this bottle, and I would like to grant you 2 wishes and the 3rd wish is mine.”

So the husband says “I want a private aircraft for myself.” The wife said she would like a house in every single country.

The genie says, “for the past 200 years he has never had sex and would like to have sex with the lady.”

The husband agrees and the genie takes the lady up and begins having sex.

Then he asks the lady “How old is your husband?”

she replies “47″

and the genie says “And he still believes in genies?”

1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property
2. Amusing town names like “Flin Flon” and “Winnipeg”
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7. You don’t need a car, just take the canoe to work
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9. Because of your license plate, you are still “friendly” even when you cut someone off
10.Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by

There was this man that took 2 nude pictures of himself.
The one picture was of the top half and the second picture was the bottom half of him.
So he decided to send the pictures through the mail, the top half to his mom and the bottom half to his girlfriend.
The letters got mixed up in the mail and the mother received the bottom half picture of her son.
She opened it and said “Thats my Son Big nose and lots of hair!”

Three guys were standing at the top of the Empire State Building in NYC. The first guy says to the second, “You know, the wind currents are so strong here in NYC that one could step off the edge of the building and literally float in mid-air due to the upward thrust of the thermal air current.”
“No way, man, you’re crazy,” said the second guy to the first. So the first guy steps off the edge of the building and justs floats in mid-air for about 20 seconds and then returns to the roof of the building.
The second guy is simply thrilled and says, “watch me do that” as he steps from the edge roof into the open air. Of course he falls like a stone straight down all the way to the waiting pavement below–SPLAT!
The third guy, who has remained quiet the entire time, leans over to the first guy and say, “You know something Superman, sometimes you can be a real asshole!”

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.



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