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Three women are stranded on an island. One woman tripped over something. She looks down and sees a lamp. The girls rub the lamp and to their astonishment, a Genie pops out.
“I will grant you 3 wishes, but since there of three of you, you will each get one wish.”
The first girl says, “I want to be strong enough to swim to shore.” The Genie snapped his fingers, and the girl set out. Not 15 feet off the island, a shark came and ate her.
The second girl says, “I want to be skilled enough to create something that will get me off the island.” With that, the Genie snapped his fingers, giving the girl some logs and string, and she made a raft and set out. When she was 15 feet off shore, the tide grew strong, and the raft capsized, killing her.
The third girl thought long and hard, when finally she came up with her wish. “I wish to be smart enough to find a way off the island.” The Genie snapped his fingers, and she turned into a man and took the bridge.

A man who owned a hand-operated rotisserie was barbecuing a chicken in his back yard when a hippie strolled by. The hippie stood
and watched for a couple of minutes and then said slowly, “Uh… I don’t want to bug you man, but your music’s stopped, and
your monkey’s on fire.”

1. Weed
2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4. The local wine doesn’t taste like malt vinegar
5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6. A university with a nude beach
7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
9. There’s always some sort of deforestation protest going on
10. Cannabis

“As you know, I don’t need to take any money from anybody. I have plenty of money myself. I will make the decisions for the people.”

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars, and drink pop, not soda.

You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing u’s from labor, honor, and color.

You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

You know what a toque is.

You’ve plugged a car in overnight.

You’ve defended your property from trespassers with a lacrosse stick because you don’t own a gun.

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