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A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides and takes it home with him.

While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. “I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!” He gets his Pepsi and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. “I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside.” Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: “I wish I’d never have to work ever again.”

POOF!

He’s back in his government office.

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

1. You never run out of wheat
2. Those cool Saskatewan Wheat Pool hats
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4. Your province is really easy to draw
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor’s house
7. YOUR Roughriders survived
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9. People will assume you live on a farm
10.Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, “Nope…due to inflation, constant down-sizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So…what’ll it be?”
The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”
“The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time and is faithful. That’s what I wish for … a good mate.”
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, “Let me see that map again.”

There was this man that took 2 nude pictures of himself.
The one picture was of the top half and the second picture was the bottom half of him.
So he decided to send the pictures through the mail, the top half to his mom and the bottom half to his girlfriend.
The letters got mixed up in the mail and the mother received the bottom half picture of her son.
She opened it and said “Thats my Son Big nose and lots of hair!”



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