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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.”
She did and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!”
The woman said, “That’s okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me.”
So, KAZAM – she became the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, ” That’s okay because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM she became the richest woman in the world!

The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish.
She said, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

A man walking on the beach sees a bottle, picks it up, and a genie comes out, “I’ve been in there for 1000’s of years, I’ll grant you one wish”.
“Well” pauses the man, “I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but could never afford the plane ticket, or the cruise, can you build a bridge?
“Man, quite the wish, I mean the concrete, the pave, the steel, you know what you are asking for, this is complicated. Would you have anything simpler in mind?
“I have always wanted to know how women think”, says the man, “why they react the way they do, why they do all that they do”.
“Will that be 2 lanes or 4 on the bridge?”

A man and his wife were driving their RV across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it – KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
“My wife and I can’t seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand.”
The waitress looked at him and said: “Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng.”

A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp.
The Genie will only grant him one wish.
The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. *POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman!

1. You live in the center of the universe
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
4. There’s no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it’s a cool city
7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime
8. MuchMusic’s Speaker’s Corner – rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein



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