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You Might Be A Redneck If… (31)
Published: 3 months ago     submited by
Related: Lists (+737), Redneck (+1459)     
         

You’ve ever had to appear in court because of your dogs.
You’ve ever had to move a car seat to make love.
You’ve ever had to put on a pair of boots to go to the bathroom.
You’ve ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, “For a good time time call… ”
You’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
You’ve ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
You’ve ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts.
You’ve ever heckled during a eulogy.
You’ve ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
You’ve ever hit a deer with your car… deliberately.
You’ve ever hit a deer with your car… on purpose!
You’ve ever hitchhiked naked,
You’ve ever hollered, “Rock the house, Bubba!” during a piano recital.
You’ve ever hollered, “You kids quit playin’ on that sheet metal.”
You’ve ever invited friends over to show off what’s left of the squirrel that you shot with your deer gun.
You’ve ever laid rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
You’ve ever lost a dog to a bush hog.
You’ve ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
You’ve ever lost your wife in a poker game.
You’ve ever made change in the offering plate.
You’ve ever made love on a tire swing.
You’ve ever named a child for a good dog.
You’ve ever paid for a 6-pack of beer with pennies.
You’ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.
You’ve ever parked a Camero in a tree.
You’ve ever parked your date next to a YIELD sign hoping she’d take the hint.
You’ve ever participated in a burp-off.
You’ve ever picked up a woman in a convenience store.
You’ve ever picked up your girlfriend in a John Deere.
You’ve ever plucked a nose hair with a pair of pliers.
You’ve ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
You’ve ever put a six-pack in a casket right before they closed it
You’ve ever put a tarp in the bed of your truck to use it as a swimming pool.
You’ve ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
You’ve ever relieved yourself from a moving vehicle.
You’ve ever returned bottles so you could buy beer with the deposit money.
You’ve ever re-used a paper plate.
You’ve ever shoplifted Spam.
You’ve ever shot a deer from inside your house.
You’ve ever shot a mouse inside your home.
You’ve ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You’ve ever shot someone over a mall parking space.
You’ve ever slow danced at a Waffle House.
You’ve ever sold your car for gas money.
You’ve ever spray painted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass.
You’ve ever stabbed someone’s hand while reaching for the last pork chop.
You’ve ever stolen a bulldozer.

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