Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”

8. Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…”

* Your opening line is: “So, what’s your homepage address?”

* This is followed by, “And what websites are you on?”

* You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 6.0″ on one of the clouds.

* You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links.

* You felt driven to consult the “Cool Page of the Day” on your wedding day.

* One of your best friends is Mirsky, and you’ve never met him.

* You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the “Back” button.

* You visit “The Really Big Button That Doesn’t Do Anything” again and again and again.

* Your dog has his own webpage.

* So does your hamster.

* So does your cat – with the count of hamster kills.

* So does your hamster.

* When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.



© 2015 ijokedb.com