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You can spit without opening your mouth.
You can take your bra off while driving.
You can talk for more than 20 minutes on the difference between squirrel and rabbit stew.
You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
You can’t go to church this year because your Sunday socks are being used as the truck’s gas cap.
You can’t keep your cats out of your car at night because the interior smells like fried chicken.
You can’t marry your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
You can’t take a bath because beer is iced down in your tub.
You can’t take a bath in the winter “cause the stream is frozen.
You can’t take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.
You can’t tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
You can’t visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
You can’t wait for the Saturday night square dance.
You can’t work on Thursday night or you’ll miss smack down.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
You carry a can of piant to defend your sisters honor.
You carry a gun to the store “just in case the car breaks down and a stranger approaches to help.”
You carry a shotgun in the back seat of your truck!
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
You clean your car or truck out with a leaf blower.
You clean your fingernails with a stick.
You clean your house with a water hose.
You clean your nails with a stick.
You clean your toilet with the tooth brush that you use every day.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.
You complain about the ban on assault weapons because it make half your guns illegal.
You consider “Outdoor Life” deep reading.
You consider a family reunion a good place to pick up girls
You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
You consider a six pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.
You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
You consider dating second cousins as “playing the field”.
You consider duct tape and tarp straps necessities for auto body repair.
You consider orange peels left on the coffee table as potpourri.
You consider pickled deer organs a delicacy.
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You consider safe sex as having a padded truck bed.
You consider tattooing a do-it-yourself job.
You consider the fifth grade you senior year.
You consider your annual bath one too many.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You consider yourself the blacksheep of the family because you are the only one not living in a trailer house.



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