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1. Pluto’s “accident” on Deck 3

2. Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand.

3. Exterminator killed off “rat” problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie’s cousins.

4. Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier.

5. Charo kept showing up.

6. The Beast from “Beauty and the Beast” kept eating the midnight buffet.

7. The Seven Dwarfs vandalized the ship after failing to meet the “You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride” Requirements.

8. Stench of seawater and 101 Dalmations was too strong.

9. Tour guide Goofy goes into drunken rampage and uses Chip and Dale as Shuffleboard discs.

10. New hires Doc,Isaac,and Gopher quit days before launch,citing that this job is not as “exciting and new” as their last one.

The number of times you’ve seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds your I.Q.
The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment (how else are you gonna pull the engine out of the old Dodge?)
The one what hangs “round over yonder, back’ah Bubba’s barn…”
The only officer that is pursuing you is a game warden.
The only songs you know on guitar are Lynard Skynard songs.
The other 13 trailers out back of yours belong to your children and their families.
The passengers enter your vehicle through the driver’s-side door.
The people on Jerry Springer’s show remind you of your neighbors
The photo on your driver’s license includes your dog.
The plastic deer in your yard is a target, rather than a decoration.
The police are looking for you in a brown truck so you wiped off the mud a bit so they wouldn’t recognize you.
The primary color of your car is “bondo”.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
The receptionist checks the rat-traps at your place of business.
The receptionist is responsible for checking the rat-traps at your place of business.
The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.
The Salvation Army comes to your house and takes the wrong furniture.
The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
The same pair of boots has been in your family for five generations and they’re only twenty years old.
The seats in your car are also your living room furniture.
The strongest smell in your house is butane.
The tailgate on your truck is also your lawn furniture.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
The theme song at your high school prom was “Friends in Low Places’.
The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius because he’s got thirteen fingers.
The tires on your pick-up are taller than your children.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren’t just men.
The tobacco chewers in your family aren’t just the men.
The town policeman stops by so much; you know his 5th grade GPA.
The trunk of your car is tied down and you’re not hauling anything.
The UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
The velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.
The words Nascar, tire, dog or shotgun appeared in your wedding vows.
The worst day of your life was when you dropped your bottle of Jack Daniels the other day.
There are 13 dogs under the front porch and you have papers for one.
There are antlers nailed to the outside of your house.
There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
There are four pairs of pants and two squirrels hanging from your clothesline.
There are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.
There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
There are more fish on your wall than pictures.
There are more than 10 cats living under your trailer.
There are more than 5 animals sleeping in your bed.

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